Scheduling Sex

For the long term/married couples out there. What are your thoughts on scheduling sex into your otherwise busy schedules?

Quote by Doug1990

For the long term/married couples out there. What are your thoughts on scheduling sex into your otherwise busy schedules?

When my wife and I still had sex (her choice not to) we were always spontaneous, even through the kid-raising years. Now if I’m with my girlfriend, we just have sex as much as we can when we’re together. No scheduling needed.

No need to schedule it. If I’m not already having sex, I’m open to it. Cum to think of it, if I am already having sex, I’m probably still open to it!

I know that scheduling sex was something couples therapists were pushing for a while. Haven't heard much about it recently. We never scheduled it but once we had a family and with two careers, there were just some times that worked better than others so it certainly wasn't "anywhere anytime".

Quote by Seeker4

I know that scheduling sex was something couples therapists were pushing for a while. Haven't heard much about it recently. We never scheduled it but once we had a family and with two careers, there were just some times that worked better than others so it certainly wasn't "anywhere anytime".

Same here. Kids kind of put a damper on "anywhere anytime.” But there were certainly times and days that worked better.

If you don't prioritize it, life can get in the way as you get older and have other competing responsibilities and less time and energy. You don't need to schedule sex, but you've got to make opportunities for it, which for some people may mean blocking out specific chunks of time where you can be together undistracted and uninterrupted. If you've had a planned date night that 'spontaneously' ended in bed, you've scheduled sex. The bigger problem is because they've put it on the schedule, people often feel pressured to have sex when the mood isn't right. Then it becomes less enjoyable and more of an obligation and that's not much fun for anyone. So, it's an opportunity, not a demand. You can have sex, or play yahtzee, whatever, as long as you're connecting with your partner. By the way, strip-yahtzee can be great foreplay.

Quote by Just_A_Guy_You_Know

The bigger problem is because they've put it on the schedule, people often feel pressured to have sex when the mood isn't right. Then it becomes less enjoyable and more of an obligation and that's not much fun for anyone. So, it's an opportunity, not a demand. You can have sex, or play yahtzee, whatever, as long as you're connecting with your partner. By the way, strip-yahtzee can be great foreplay.

That’s it right there - it becomes an obligation. It doesn’t always have to be spontaneous, but when it is it’s just more fun (for me anyway).

It works for us. But we think of our Saturday and Sunday mornings as being commitment to sex and not an obligation, but that's us. Sure, twice a week may not seem like a lot, but our sex is great. We both work a lot and dedicate weekday mornings to exercise. Occasionally, I get a freebie blowjob midweek and that's fun.