Despite some eager retailers trying to incite premature Christmas shopping sprees as early as September, for us, 1 December heralds the beginning of the silly season and the earliest possible day I’ll allow my wife to ram our home solid with Christmas decorations.
After retrieving the ever-increasing stockpile of Christmas cheer from the garage, and thoroughly inspecting it for spiders, we get Michael Buble’s Christmas album cranking on the stereo and get to work. This usually involves my wife erecting the Christmas tree in our lounge room, while I sit on the couch with a cider making insightful, yet witty comments about her progress. At some point, I’ll go too far, and my relaxing Sunday afternoon will be shattered with an order I dare not disobey to attach hooks to a new collection of ornaments purchased at last year’s Boxing Day sales. Seriously, why aren’t they already attached?!
Without fail, usually during the stringing of the lights or the hanging of the baubles, the cat will climb up into the middle of the tree and refuse to budge, like a divorced guy denied access to his kids who snaps his biscuit and scales a bridge pylon in protest of the family court. With the Bube’s last song winding down and the dogs sprawled out on the carpet like road kill, I’ll reclaim my masculinity and affix the star to the top of the tree. Bursting with pride at a job well done, and perhaps a little tipsy from the cider, I declare our home ready for Christmas. I’m then astonished to discover that my wife is taking credit for my achievement and posting photos on Facebook.
Anyway, it got me wondering, what Christmas traditions does everyone else have?
Devil's Advocate
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