Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

Would You Consider?

last reply
9 replies
1.3k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Unknown User
I need some advice on something maybe,someone can Help me out or shed some light on it for me,I have this Friend of mine that she has a gf for about over a year or so and she just now found out her gf has been coming on line and fooling around with other people on line she considers it as cheating,Me personally I think she's giving it to much into anything and worrying about it,I said to her If your gf loves you enough and then you should already know that you are number 1 compared to girls on line,she messes around with by me meaning of messing around, cybering , So I ask would you or Do you consider cybering as cheating? yes or no.

yours truley karen.
Dancing_Doll
Alpha Blonde
If she's doing something that she has to hide from her GF, then you can technically call it cheating... different story if they're both cool with it, and just see it as harmless fun. But if your friend walked into this girl's room and she would rush to shut down her computer and/or delete her computer history, she knows she's doing something wrong.

Now... do I think it's as serious as 'real-life' cheating... not really... unless she's emotionally invested and attached to the people she's messing around with online and it's an ongoing thing with one person that's eating up her waking thoughts, even when she's not online.

The problem is - when someone finds out their s.o. is playing online, the reality is - they're sharing some kind of intimacy and fantasy life with someone else. Even if it's purely on a casual level, the person who accidentally discovers this is probably left wondering where the boundaries are... is other stuff going on? would they ever meet these online people in real life or want to? are they unhappy (emotionally or sexually) and looking for someone else to fill the void? So... if your friend hasn't confronted her about it yet, she's probably thinking about the bigger picture and may be confused or stressed about it.. If it was a matter of just some casual chats/cyber with random strangers, it might not be seen as reason to get upset about it... but she may not know how far it's gone (or would go) and is left wondering if this is a symptom of bigger issues in their relationship.

Verdict - they need to talk and figure out what they're both comfortable with as far as 'monogamy' and 'cheating'. Honesty is important. If this girl doesn't consider cyber as a big deal (and for example, wouldn't be bothered if your friend was doing it too), then maybe that's all she needs to feel more secure about the relationship. If it's still an issue for her, then changes need to be made for things to work out. Everyone has limits and if you know those limits and still disrespect them, then yeah... I would call that 'cheating'. Whether that level of cheating is upsetting enough to warrant a break up is still up for debate - depends on the people involved.
Unknown User
actually she only recently found out about it,cause her girlfriend by accident went to get a shower, and my friend just happend to go on computer to check her email stuff like that noticed that her gf did not sign out,she called me bawling her eyes out when she seen it,askin what should she do confront her, or wait cause my friend dosent really know what cybering is cause she never herd of it before, she usually just goes on a chats like you or i would in real life nothing other then that.now my friend's gf diffrent person all together, she Is abit of an Internet whore" i hope that don't offend anyone here.me I think she is just worrying about it to much in my book,cause everytime something goes wrong with those two its like Im the ref and dragged in the middle,and I dont wanna be at that,I mean what could i tell her everytime I try to be honest with her,she gets pissed at me dont talk to me for a week and starts talking like nothing happen
Guest
Lurker
Sometimes I think yes,sometimes no.
alliet14
Active Ink Slinger
Here is my two cents. Sound like your friend has security issues. I am not saying that internet activity is or isnt cheating. In my opinion, it is not. It is a fantasy land. A place where you can do things, or imagine you are doing things that you may or may not be able to do in real life. If this offends your friend, she should look at herself to see how she can improve things with her gf, so that she will not look to the internet for what ever she feels she is missing.
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Quote by Dancing_Doll
If she's doing something that she has to hide from her GF, then you can technically call it cheating... different story if they're both cool with it, and just see it as harmless fun. But if your friend walked into this girl's room and she would rush to shut down her computer and/or delete her computer history, she knows she's doing something wrong.

Now... do I think it's as serious as 'real-life' cheating... not really... unless she's emotionally invested and attached to the people she's messing around with online and it's an ongoing thing with one person that's eating up her waking thoughts, even when she's not online.

The problem is - when someone finds out their s.o. is playing online, the reality is - they're sharing some kind of intimacy and fantasy life with someone else. Even if it's purely on a casual level, the person who accidentally discovers this is probably left wondering where the boundaries are... is other stuff going on? would they ever meet these online people in real life or want to? are they unhappy (emotionally or sexually) and looking for someone else to fill the void? So... if your friend hasn't confronted her about it yet, she's probably thinking about the bigger picture and may be confused or stressed about it.. If it was a matter of just some casual chats/cyber with random strangers, it might not be seen as reason to get upset about it... but she may not know how far it's gone (or would go) and is left wondering if this is a symptom of bigger issues in their relationship.

Verdict - they need to talk and figure out what they're both comfortable with as far as 'monogamy' and 'cheating'. Honesty is important. If this girl doesn't consider cyber as a big deal (and for example, wouldn't be bothered if your friend was doing it too), then maybe that's all she needs to feel more secure about the relationship. If it's still an issue for her, then changes need to be made for things to work out. Everyone has limits and if you know those limits and still disrespect them, then yeah... I would call that 'cheating'. Whether that level of cheating is upsetting enough to warrant a break up is still up for debate - depends on the people involved.


Well said again Ashleigh. I agree.
bustyreadhead
Active Ink Slinger
the posts here are pretty good, and i don't know that i have anything quality to add except maybe this:

since a lot of these types of questions are specific to specific people, it seems to me that if your friend thinks of it as cheating, it's cheating. can't tell someone that they should be okay with what they see as a breach of trust from a significant other.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by InnocentBliss87
I need some advice on something maybe,someone can Help me out or shed some light on it for me,I have this Friend of mine that she has a gf for about over a year or so and she just now found out her gf has been coming on line and fooling around with other people on line she considers it as cheating,Me personally I think she's giving it to much into anything and worrying about it,I said to her If your gf loves you enough and then you should already know that you are number 1 compared to girls on line,she messes around with by me meaning of messing around, cybering , So I ask would you or Do you consider cybering as cheating? yes or no.

yours truley karen.


simply put cybering is not cheating it's like watching porn just good old fahion entertainment
Guest
Lurker
Quote by InnocentBliss87
actually she only recently found out about it,cause her girlfriend by accident went to get a shower, and my friend just happend to go on computer to check her email stuff like that noticed that her gf did not sign out,she called me bawling her eyes out when she seen it,askin what should she do confront her, or wait cause my friend dosent really know what cybering is cause she never herd of it before, she usually just goes on a chats like you or i would in real life nothing other then that.now my friend's gf diffrent person all together, she Is abit of an Internet whore" i hope that don't offend anyone here.me I think she is just worrying about it to much in my book,cause everytime something goes wrong with those two its like Im the ref and dragged in the middle,and I dont wanna be at that,I mean what could i tell her everytime I try to be honest with her,she gets pissed at me dont talk to me for a week and starts talking like nothing happen


you'll be much happier living your life yourself and no body else
Guest
Lurker
Quote by InnocentBliss87
I need some advice on something maybe,someone can Help me out or shed some light on it for me,I have this Friend of mine that she has a gf for about over a year or so and she just now found out her gf has been coming on line and fooling around with other people on line she considers it as cheating,Me personally I think she's giving it to much into anything and worrying about it,I said to her If your gf loves you enough and then you should already know that you are number 1 compared to girls on line,she messes around with by me meaning of messing around, cybering , So I ask would you or Do you consider cybering as cheating? yes or no.

yours truley karen.



simple answer is NO