A different perspective...

30 Mar 2010

Letter from Tiger Woods

To my wife, I'm sorry.

I fucked up but I'm not changing so you'll either need to put up with this shit or I'll stroke you the check I agreed to in the pre-nup... sorry.

To my fans, get over it. Where I stick my dick is none of your business. If you care... sorry. I don't need any of you in order to make 10 times in one year what you'll make in a career. I promise to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to within 10' of the hole and drop putts that you couldn't read in a million years. If that's not good enough for you, go watch tennis.

To the media. You cocksuckers are the only ones more two-faced than I am. Kissing my ass for all those years and then ripping me every chance you've had since Thanksgiving. Fuck all ya'll. I'm glad I don't have to take the time to sit and answer the same bullshit questions over and over again.

To the other golfers. Kiss my cablanasian ass! You motherfuckers come out ripping me when I've put more fucking money in your pockets than you could count. You think anyone's been paying to see Jesper-fucking-Parnavik? Give me a fucking break. I'm almost tempted to give up golf just to punish you guys but I think it's going to be more fun to practice for the next few weeks and get back to making you all my bitches.

That's all I got today folks..... see ya at Augusta !....

Oh and Bambi, if you're listening - I'll meet you at the Ritz in 45 minutes... Penthouse suite, bring the toys.

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

31 Mar 2010

Bunny12

Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!

31 Mar 2010

Are you his new PR man?

31 Mar 2010

Quote by nicola
Are you his new PR man?

Can't do any worse.AlKaFU2kfg7JggBo coffee

31 Mar 2010

NOT to make any excuses for Tiger Woods, but I'm still a bit surprised this has become such a shocking story for everyone.

Professional sports players, just like professional musicians tend to cheat. They are on the road a lot, and its kind of part of the whole culture of sports and bands.

I think a lot of the wives understand this up front, including all the pitfalls of marrying those guys. Some of them are ok to take the risk.

I still think he's a jerk obviously, but not that shockingly different from a lot of pro-sports guys if we were to get a running list of all their extra-marital conquests.

31 Mar 2010

I still kind of chuckle at the whole press apology...in the end, he owed an apology to his wife first and foremost, then maybe to his family for the embarassment. After that, even the sponsors would have cooled a bit once people were ooing and awing at his 210' fly again. For Christ's sake, we got over the President having an affair! This was always going to blow over.

31 Mar 2010

That was funny as hell. Good one WMM.

31 Mar 2010

Quote by WellMadeMale
Letter from Tiger Woods

To my wife, I'm sorry.

I fucked up but I'm not changing so you'll either need to put up with this shit or I'll stroke you the check I agreed to in the pre-nup... sorry.

To my fans, get over it. Where I stick my dick is none of your business. If you care... sorry. I don't need any of you in order to make 10 times in one year what you'll make in a career. I promise to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to within 10' of the hole and drop putts that you couldn't read in a million years. If that's not good enough for you, go watch tennis.

To the media. You cocksuckers are the only ones more two-faced than I am. Kissing my ass for all those years and then ripping me every chance you've had since Thanksgiving. Fuck all ya'll. I'm glad I don't have to take the time to sit and answer the same bullshit questions over and over again.

To the other golfers. Kiss my cablanasian ass! You motherfuckers come out ripping me when I've put more fucking money in your pockets than you could count. You think anyone's been paying to see Jesper-fucking-Parnavik? Give me a fucking break. I'm almost tempted to give up golf just to punish you guys but I think it's going to be more fun to practice for the next few weeks and get back to making you all my bitches.

That's all I got today folks..... see ya at Augusta !....

Oh and Bambi, if you're listening - I'll meet you at the Ritz in 45 minutes... Penthouse suite, bring the toys.

This may be humor but in many ways it is quite profound. The collective we spends way too much time discussing the morality of sports/media/movie stars, not that it isn't any worse than watching golf on TV or discussing the state of Islamic television. The sports stars spend too much time aplolgizing for what the collective we don't really give a fuck about.

Seriously, nice satire. It has been my view that if he can win, which is more important to people than who you fuck, he will be on his tarnished way back.

I have no stake in T. Woods, his having lived or his having never been born matters nothing at all to me. Any void created by using idle time to discuss his impact on golf or his trials and tribulations would be filled by other trivia. How nice it would be to avoid trivia all together.

Very funny, WMM

31 Mar 2010

Quote by Kyle
How nice it would be to avoid trivia all together.

What would we talk about then? lol.

The way I see it, he gets to make tons of money, it gives him access to more pussy than he can ever sink a dick into, so he can damn sure deal with the shitstorm when he slips up. Not that I get all worked up about it either but its funny to see all the women come out with their dirty text messages etc.

I agree with Dancing Doll too, these women have got to know the score when they get involved with these guys. They got massive egos so of course most of them are going to be trifling. No way his wife is that naive, she is probably just embarrassed that it all got out like it did.

Either way its funny stuff to watch and when it fades another one will come out. I hear stuff here all the time about local athletes etc. too. They make millions, I get to laugh at them. Sounds fair to me.

31 Mar 2010

This may be humor but in many ways it is quite profound. The collective we spends way too much time discussing the morality of sports/media/movie stars, not that it isn't any worse than watching golf on TV or discussing the state of Islamic television. The sports stars spend too much time aplolgizing for what the collective we don't really give a fuck about.

I think people spend so much time on it because they not only like to see how far the mightly have fallen but,also because it's more interesting than a "normal" person's mundane everyday life.

31 Mar 2010

Tiger Woods is a young good-looking billionaire athlete who travels the world in his own private jet... who wouldn't fuck him? Hell.. he can do me if he hangs a pre-nup on the bedpost..

1 Apr 2010

I agree w/ BigRod...though we'd have to be talking about a pretty large figure

1 Apr 2010

"Sympathy for a Golf Player" "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste..."