nope and thank god i dont have to. was breathing hard just reading the damned list.
Stopped at 500 yards, does that answer your question?
Hubs is friends with a couple. They're little fellers too but, meaty. So are some of the Marine pilots he knows. Odd huh?
That's just what you have to do to get in. Don't ask what you have to do to graduate. My martial arts instructor was a SEAL. As badasses go, he was one of the best I've ever known. Lot of fun to hang around with, too. Why is it the most dangerous guys are always the funniest?
nope they'd send my ass back home in heartbeat!
about passed out just reading the list..jeez louise!
NAVY SEALS? I scoff at their "toughness". Let's see them try:
The Castlequeen Kick-Ass Mommy/Wife Test!
1. Do four loads of laundry between arrival home from work (5-6:15 pm) and 7pm dinner. Don't forget the dryer sheets. Fold. Put away.
2. Change diaper and re-clothe infant twice in same time. Reclothe self due to infant vomit. (Hot water? AS IF.)
3. Prepare dinner from semi-prepared ingredients, scratch one dinner item due to missing ingredient, beg husband to watch child while scrambling for alternative to potatoes.
4. Serve dinner, be charming and listen to hubby's day. Act interested. Deal with fussy child who decides her dinner would look better on wall. Clean up, re-clothe child.
5. Clean up of all dishes and tidy house by 8 pm. Deal with child who does not want to go to sleep and you can't make her. Find strength not put child to sleep permanently.
6. Type case notes from long work day, this takes two hours minimum, but you only get from 8:30 to 9:00 because "Come, sit down and relax and watch some TV!"
7. Pray for strength not to kill hubby.
8. Watch 30 minute inane sitcom. Wish for hot death for attractive 20-something star with perfect tits and ass. Slap hubby for being too obvious in lust for her.
9. Try to finish work from 9:30 to 10 pm.
10. Go to bed.
That's just the weekday portion of the test.
WEEKEND!
1. Crying child awakens you at 6:53 am. Heck who needs 8 hours of sleep, right?
2. Make breakfast for family because hubby's "getting his golf stuff together". Clean up child. Clean up child's breakfast which now decorates kitchen. Curse lack of paper towels. Make note on shopping list.
3. Get infant ready for shopping excursion while hubby fairly sprints out of house to golf. He'd help but "it's an important client he's playing with".
4. Deal with infant who does not want to get into car seat. Child now has strength of Incredible Hulk. Fight with child for fifteen minutes, successfully latch child in. Then release child due to bathroom neccessity. Re-battle child into car seat. Attempt to listen to Beatles, fail, listen to annoying childrens music. Attempt to stop self from vomitting or going insane.
5. Get to Target. Wrestle child into submission and into shopping cart. Breathe sigh of relief and enjoy soy hot chocolate at in-store Starbucks. Take eyes off of child for one second. She throws hot chocolate onto floor. Consider offering child to nearest passerby as "free gift for shopping at Target". All look like type who will report you to Child Services. Curse under breath.
6. Get half of items on list. While perusing items on rest of list, realize child got too close to shelf and has pulled 43 bags of M&M's onto floor and into cart. Apologize profusely to store staff while attempting to help, child begins screaming because she is not involved in work.
7. Calm child. Calm self. Why the hell is Valium not over the counter?
8. Pay for shopping. Realize child has pulled in razor blades, breath mints and copy of Us. All have been slimed. Damn it, same bitch from sitcom is on cover. I want her dead.
9. Drop off dry cleaning rapidly to avoid child desiring to play with plastic bags.
10. Grocery store. Where's the vodka? Child eats half basket of strawberries while I look for good apples. Clean up child and self in restroom. Finish shopping while avoiding "grabby hands" from loading cart with steak, glue, pinto beans and curry mix. Dear god, they have Frappucino at aisle cooler! Rejoice.
11. Sucker. While wondering why Johnny Depp doesn't rescue you from hell, little miss fidget upends frappucino. Sob quietly until you pay for groceries. Take long way home, hitting drive thru coffee on the way, turn up stereo to drown out crying child. Enjoy beverage.
12. Unload groceries and other items, realize child pulled same brand of breath mints into grocery cart. She is consistent.
13. Child naps. For 13 minutes and phone rings to awaken her. It is salesman. Imply his parents weren't married before slamming phone down. Soothe child with song. Fall asleep on chair in child's room. Waken 47 minutes later to find child sleeping peacefully. Breathe sigh of relief. Loud shout wakens child, as hubby and client/new friend come in, client hit best game "EVER!". Be nice business wife and not kill client.
14. Listen to boring recap of golf. Wrestle child back into carseat, and drop child off and grandparent's house.
15. Screw the Beatles, I have some headbanger stuff on the iPod. "Can't Drive 55" roars out of stereo as I drive to restaurant.
16. Greet friend. Have lunch. Blood pressure is almost back to normal...and cell phone rings. "Honey, I need some new jeans, will you get me some?"
17. Hit mall. 19 year old bitch in shoe department does not know who she's messing with. I try on 37 pairs of shoes. Find NONE I like. "if only those strappy ones came in a hunter green." Hit different store. Old favorite salesperson knows me and finds, aha, same strappy style, in correct color! Rejoice. Also finds killer sandals with blue accents. Not enough blue in wardrobe. Need...new skirt and blouse.
18. What the hell? Are they making these smaller because I am SOO a size 7 still!!!! "If I needed a size 9 I'd be fat and I'm not fat am I?" Salesperson is wise and has strong self preservation instinct and says that factories don't always follow specs correctly. Agrees that is probably a 7 with a 9 label. "I've always worn mediums for blouses, do I look like I need a LARGE?!?" Best friend stifles laughter and looks sympathetic for poor salesperson.
19. Sweet Jesus H. Christ, I need this %$#@*& Cinnabon.
20. Return home with purchases to find hubby has started BBQ and has dinner grilling with potato salad and garden salad he made, he has also picked up child who is presentable clean and apparently on best behavior. Aw hell, it's not so bad as I hold her in my arms while hubby embraces me from behind.
50 situps in two minutes? Pffft.
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
No sport has prepared me for something like that!! wow...i dont know what to say now...
MKironhorse63 and I have been part of the NSW community. It's funny when you get to know them as real people with everyday problems knowing some of the things they deal with in their work world. I can't do a lot of the things they do just to get into the training program and I sure couldn't make it through phase 1.
Not even close
Used to know a guy who was a Green Beret.
I swear he never WENT anywhere ...
He just stepped out of the shadows, and he was there.
I remember watching him walking through the mess hall once. He walked down the aisle, set down his tray, and walked out the door ...
The only sound you heard was the door closing behind him.
I know a lot of girls that do. They seem to be worth the effort.