I was killing time and did an internet search, "funny sex stories". Here's a favorite I read.
A man and his wife and engaged in heavy foreplay. As things, progress, he asks, "Are you ready for a big hard dick?"
The woman replies, "No, I want yours!"
On the way back to the convent, a busload of Catholic nuns missed a curve on a mountain road and went hurtling off a cliff, sending the Sisters to meet their fate.
Before St. Peter, a long line of nuns approached the Pearly Gates. At the head of the line, Sister Gwendolyn stood before St. Peter, who said to her: "Sister, absolve thee of thy sins. Confess your transgression, and cleanse yourself in the Font of Penitance. He gestured towards a large bowl of Holy Water.
Sister Gwendolyn lowered her eyes and confessed: "Your Eminence, when I was younger, I once watched a boy masturbating." She then kneeled over the Holy Water and splashed some in her eyes. St. Peter nodded his approval and opened the Pearly Gates for her to enter the Eternal Kingdom.
Second in line, Sister Gertrude stepped before St. Peter, and confessed: "Sir, these hands... I once used them to give a boy a hand-job." St. Peter rolled his eyes, and watched as she cleansed her hands in the bowl, and stepped through the Gates.
Just as Sister Lucille stepped forward, Sister Carolyn hiked up her habit and ran up from the back of the line. Crowding in ahead of Sister Lucille, she implored St. Peter: "Please, Sir! Permit me to gargle with the Holy Water before Sister Lucille dunks her ass in the bowl!"
All a vasectomy does, is changes the colour of the baby.
