This gets better the more you read it.
From TheSmokingGun:
MAY 19--Driving to see his girlfriend Sunday evening, Andrew Jones recalled being "excited" about their approaching rendezvous. Which might explain why Jones, 34, was allegedly masturbating while supposedly "talking dirty" to the woman on the phone (while simultaneously piloting his 2002 Chrysler Sebring). Of course, that doesn't really explain why the West Virginia man was wearing women's underwear and stockings at the time. Jones was busted by a state trooper after two separate truckers called 911 to report seeing a motorist "masturbating while driving." Jones was charged with indecent exposure and drug possession (a bag of methamphetamine and a pipe were found in his car), according to the misdemeanor criminal complaint.
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