RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar

15 Feb 2010

Morning, Lushketeers.

There's dark roast coffee, the makings for Bloody Mary's, and for you more refined folks, a batch of Mimosas. The doughnuts are semi-fresh though you might want to stay clear of the cream-filled ones. Try not to make a mess and clean up afterward.

Betcha didn't know that on this day back in 1842, adhesive postage stamps were used for the first time by the City Dispatch Post (Office) in New York City. Somewhere, Cliff Clavin, must be all swollen up with pride.

Rumple Foreskin

RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN

15 Feb 2010

You know, Rumple...that information was about as exciting as watching paint dry...though I do have to wonder what they did before adhesive stamps...never mind, don't get me thinking about it...
I will take a coffee, if it's ready...hope it's better than the other day...and I'd thought I'd start your morning off with a little story:

Two flies walk into a bar and order drinks and start talking.
The first fly asks, "How was your travel down here?"
The second fly answers "It was cold. I rode in a bikers mustache. How was yours?"
The first fly answers, "I was warm. I rode in a biker chicks' pussy. You ought to do it next year."
So a year passes and the same two flies met in the same bar.
The first fly says, "Did you do it?"
The second fly answers, "Yes but some how I still showed up in a biker's mustache

Yeah, I'll take that coffee...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

15 Feb 2010

Okay, now listen up and listen up tight. My latest insult to good taste and English letters, HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex has just been posted. It's supposed to be funny or at least mildly amusing. If you get a chance, check it out and let me know what you think.

Alan, were those bar flies?

Rumple Foreskin

RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN

15 Feb 2010

Bar flies...insert loud groan here...actually, I was inspired by J & J's post on the previous page...
Speaking of the word actually...I actually read your story...heck, I've read two of your humor pieces so far...that might put me in an elite club, don't worry...I know the feeling, I write humor stuff myself...
Btw...I liked it...

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

15 Feb 2010

Have a R.V.W. on the house, Alan. In fact, anyone who has made it through two of my humor pieces needs, at minimum, a double.

Just finsihed enjoying, voting and commenting on your, Dream Job, story If you want a short critique, I'll send one by PM tomorrow. I'd offer to do that today but I've max'ed out a msg quota.

Rumple Foreskin

RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN

15 Feb 2010

Postage stamp sex? Oh I love that.

You lick 'em, stick 'em, and send them on their way.

15 Feb 2010

Quote by RumpleForeskin
Have a R.V.W. on the house, Alan. In fact, anyone who has made it through two of my humor pieces needs, at minimum, a double.

Just finsihed enjoying, voting and commenting on your, Dream Job, story If you want a short critique, I'll send one by PM tomorrow. I'd offer to do that today but I've max'ed out a msg quota.

Rumple Foreskin

I'll take the drink first, and the short critique later...if you want to see if you can survive two of my humor piedes you can read "Pete And Joe Get Laid" which actually did well on here in October...
I see you made it onto the Top Author list...every time I do that somebody comes along and decides that my last five stories rate a 2...
Good Luck with that...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

16 Feb 2010

BTW...Rumple...I can relate to that message quota max thingy...I do it every holiday...they offer the option on here of sending a message to all your Lush Friends, but every time you use it, you can't send any more messages for the rest of the day...
According to the site, the idea is to prevent spamming...I guess it works...

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

16 Feb 2010

Thanks for the heads-up about the msg quota. I did a mass mailing of the msg I addressed to you so now I'll have to abide awhiile in patience.

Stamp sex? Rocco, you are one twisted, sick, degenerate, and should, therefore, feel right at home around this crowd.. evil4

So what'll you have?

Rumple Foreskin

RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN

16 Feb 2010

Yeah, sometime after you go to sleep tonight you should be able to send messages again...probably five minutes after you log off...
Btw, speaking of humor stuff, and the grand reception here...another member from that "other" site just joined Lush who writes a fair amount of humor pieces...so, if you ever decide to approach Lush about adding a humor category again...we now have a total of at least four people, including you and me, on here who write humor stories...
Truly a force to be reckoned with...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

16 Feb 2010

Quote by Exakta66

Btw, speaking of humor stuff, and the grand reception here...another member from that "other" site just joinLush who writes a fair amount of humor pieces...so, if you ever decide to approach Lush about adding a humor category again...we now have a total of at least four people, including you and me, on here who write humor stories...
Truly a force to be reckoned with...
Later,
Alan.

The mind boggles (and no doubt the bowels spasm) at the thought of such a force.

Rumple Foreskin

RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN

16 Feb 2010

Quote by Exakta66
According to the site, the idea is to prevent spamming...I guess it works...

Yes it does.

If you have any further gripes about the site design, please take them up with me via PM.

16 Feb 2010

It's MARDI GRAS DAY!

Let's have a ball. Let's have a party, y'all.

For Mardi Gras info, photos, videos and web cams check out: NOLA.com
Rumple Foreskin

RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN

16 Feb 2010

Quote by nicola
Quote by Exakta66
According to the site, the idea is to prevent spamming...I guess it works...

Yes it does.

If you have any further gripes about the site design, please take them up with me via PM.

I didn't know that would be considered a gripe...I'm just stating what I was told in a reply from Lush admin...

And Happy Mardi Gras Rumple...let's start with a drink this morning...something strong...my words are already being misconstrued and the sun is barely up...
I should be used to it by now...
occasion5

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

16 Feb 2010

Here's a double Bloody mary with an extra shot of Tabasco sauce. It'll ease your aches and kick-start your day.

Rumple Foreskin

RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN

16 Feb 2010

Quote by RumpleForeskin
Here's a double Bloody mary with an extra shot of Tabasco sauce. It'll ease your aches and kick-start your day.

Rumple Foreskin

That sounds like a plan Stan...
Hey, did the site go down again this morning or is my mind playing tricks on me??? Hard to tell once you hit a certain age...
Every time I can't get onto Lush I get worried...somehow "War Of The Worlds" starts to play in my head...I figure if the Martians really were to invade, they would mess with all the sex story/chat sites first as a major distraction...what do you think???
Give me that Bloody Mary, nice and spicy...glad it's a double...
occasion5

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

16 Feb 2010

(slides a tall Bloody Mary down the bar)

Here you go. I've been in and out this AM and haven't had any hitch in the get-along. However, I may have encountered a brief down-time a day or two ago. Not an unusual event during a server switch, I understand.

As for Martians, I like Marvin, but would be upset if he and some of his buds came messing around during football season.

Rumple Foreskin

RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN

16 Feb 2010

Seems like this joint is too quiet!

16 Feb 2010

Once again my buddy Shameless comes through with flying colors! Man, I am proud to know and have you as one of my Lush Friends...I just moved you to the top of the list...again...
Nice work my Brother...peace be with you...make that "piece be with you"...
My main man Shameless...probably the most valuable asset on Lush...I'm not sure where you find this stuff, but you once again have gone above and beyond the call of duty...
Give that man a drink on me barkeep...put it on my tab, which I believe has recently passed the GNP of Brazil and China combined...but, we'll worry about that later...perhaps in a next life...
Once again...way to go Shameless!
occasion5

Oh barkeep...give those girls a drink as well...just, um, put it on my tab...

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

16 Feb 2010

Thank you Alan.

16 Feb 2010

Alan, found this old photo of you...how's the skyscraper robbery/murder for ransom business treating you?

16 Feb 2010

Quote by WillinBK

Alan, found this old photo of you...how's the skyscraper robbery/murder for ransom business treating you?

It's funny...talking about the murder business, etc. Did you happen to read xbob's story "The Beckwith Affair"??? He put Lush members in it, and I am one of the main characters...that is why he is number one author on Lush and his stories top the list...he puts me in them...
Little known secret, but in it I do among other things traffic drugs and plot murders...so, to answer your questions, read the story. Savanna and Becky are the other two members he put in it...
That is an old trick to get people to read your stories...put them in them...I've been put friends of mine in cameo roles for some time now...and they actually read my stuff...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

16 Feb 2010

Alan Rickman is one of my favourite actors, his voice is so distinct. He sold out a little with that silly Bruce Willis movie, but other than that, he's a gem.

17 Feb 2010

Evening, Nicola. And here I was thinking "our" Alan had turned legit.

By the way, and IMHO, murder can be soooo messy. My advice is to specialize in "white slavery." Pay's good and there are often some nice fringe benefits. evil4

eta: On another site, we once did an Olympic chain-story using each other as participants in events we invented. That might work at Lush sometime. The main thing I got out of deal, other than a lot of reads, votes and comments on my contribution, was this description of me' in a friend's story:

"..only needs a hayseed and gun to get a part in any low class American movie that needs a small town idiot sheriff."
Rumple Foreskin

RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN

17 Feb 2010

Quote by RumpleForeskin
Evening, Nicola. And here I was thinking "our" Alan had turned legit.

By the way, and IMHO, murder can be soooo messy. My advice is to specialize in "white slavery." Pay's good and there are often some nice fringe benefits.

Rumple Foreskin

I agree about the murder being messy problem...helps if you have friends in the waste management business...if you know what I mean L46

That said, ah hem...yes, you know I spent so much time here at this fine site known as Lush Stories trying to establish myself as a nice, decent, romantic guy...I mean who else here has 25 poems, yes count 'em, with titles like "To My Wife" and other sappy romantic sort of stuff...and along comes this xbob guy and with one five part story, completely tarnishes my sterling reputation...
I'll tell ya...if him and I didn't go back so far...I'd probably have to make a call to one of my friends in the waste management business...
Um, I'm sorry...you didn't hear that...
Barkeep...another drink please...double bourbon with a bourbon chaser please...
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

17 Feb 2010

Hey Rump...reading that description of you, I can see you have some real "friends" too... laughing6

What's funny is if you look at Chapter two of xbob's "The Beckwith Affair"...right at the beginning, he has my name in big, bold letters...make no mistake...the guy is out to ruin me...
But it's been tried before...my guess is it won't be the last time...and I'm still here...wherever that is...
Barkeep...where is that drink???
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

17 Feb 2010

Yo, Shameless...you just moved down a notch in my esteem with that last picture...and I was just going to launch a "Shameless for President" campaign...
Oh well...maybe tomorrow...
What does a guy have to do to get a drink around here???
Later,
Alan.
occasion5

PS: Let me go start my contest story..."Rising Like The Tide"...you heard about it here first Ladies and Gents...remember that...

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

17 Feb 2010

Here are the drinks you ordered, Alan. Enjoy.

Shameless, don't pay him no matter mind. You are a peerless porn poster.

All this talk about "friends" brings to mind those great lyrics by, Bob Dylan: I've got a friend, spends his life, stabbin' my picture with a Bowie knife--hears my name he pretends to barf--dreams of strangling me with a scarf. I've got lots of friends.

Rumple Foreskin

RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN

17 Feb 2010

Stay with us here Alan ,, The pictures are getting better .
The first one is how it starts ,, The second is how you will see after a while ,,, Cheers !!