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RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar

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I live in Texas, Shameless, and that Gin Bar girl looks familiar...come to think of it, where the fuck IS my sister?
Fuck it...Rumple, I'm needing a Tom Collins spiked far beyond its normal booze ratio, and a water pail for the mare I brought to make Alan's windshield horse feel better. I know this site says no beastiality, but it's sex between animals only, and they can take it into the back alley, right? No witnesses, no foul.

Did someone finally clean up the frosting stains on the back booth? I was geting accustomed to the smell, finally, and....wait, that wasn't frosting was it?
Welcome Mr. Konrage...I see you fit right in here...we were just waiting for someone to come along and make the rest of us look respectable...I was getting worried for a bit, but I see my fears were unfounded...
Mr. Rumpskin...give the man a drink...just, um., put it on my tab...
Later,
Alan.

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Quote by RumpleForeskin
A mess of cabbage rolls combined with improperly large amounts of beer should turn any imagined natural gas shortage into a surplus for the ages, especially around here.

Shameless, you are just plain ate up--with goodness, that is.

Y'all be sure to check out my poetical efforts on the haiku (rhymes with ah-choo or Chattanooga Choo-Choo) thread in the Lounge forum. Only problem is Alan's reply (smart-ass, of course) is a lot funnier.
Rumple Foreskin

Well I do have to show my ass on occasion
Good Morning, Hey Konrage welcome to Rumplations.

Alan, thanks for the drink!

That guy is always buying with all his track winnings. What a guy!


Coffe black please...

Hey Shameless stick around Alan is buying drinks!
Algol
RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar




Greetings and salutations to all Lushers wherever they may roam.

Coffee's semi-drinkable this moring. What's left should do a fine job of patching the roof.

Shameless, I can relate to that boid.

Good to see Dr. K check back in. He has that smooth, subtle charm all we Texas guys are famous for. and he's a horseman, sorta like Alan, in a manner of speaking,

Morning Al. Care for an eye-opener?

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Hey Rumple, I'll take a short whiskey I'm headed to the golf course in an hour or so... I hope the whiskey will calm me down
Algol
(slides drink over to Alogo)

Here you go, duffer. Just try to avoid sandtraps and dumb Tiger jokes.

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Hey Rump...just stopped by quick to say "Hello" to you guys...
Hey Al...left another haiku up there after yours...just couldn't help myself...I can just see where that thread will lead...
Hey Mr. 4skin...I know have not had a lot of luck with the ponies lately...um, Glue Factory should've been sent there a long time ago, Sure Thing was not, Dead But Not Buried...hmmm, let's not go there, but I have another sure winner...I'll post a picture later...
In the meantime, I figure if the ponies don't pay off, I always have a Plan B...
Yes Sir, I think I figured out a sure fire way to pay off my bar tab...or at least service the debt...
(Pulls an old yellowed copy of The Wall Street Journal out of back pocket)
Can you say "Junk Bonds???" Yes sir...I figure I can sell off junk bonds to unsuspecting victims, um, I mean customers in small third world countries to pay off my bar tab...
This has to work...I mean, this is brilliant...
I just need to find an investment banker to handle the deal...In the meantime, can I get a double bourbon with a bourbon chaser...just, um, put it on my tab...
Later,
Alan.

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
(slides double-Old RVW and a bourbon chaser towards Alan) Here, on the house. You need this, bad.

Gimme a minute and I'll dig up the current address of Bernie Madoff. Word has it he's got a little time on his hands right now and would be just the guy to help with the investment banking side of your scheme, er, finanacial project.

Just FWIW, somehow I see you more as Zero Mostel in, The Producers. Silly me.

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN


I saw these two proud americans outside...must be national mammary gland inspection day or something...

I'd like something girly today so maybe a cosmopolitan today please?
One Cosmo coming up.

Patriotism swells the, uh, heart of the Rumple-unit.

How's the world treating you, Lois?

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Quote by RumpleForeskin
One Cosmo coming up.

Patriotism swells the, uh, heart of the Rumple-unit.

How's the world treating you, Lois?

Rumple Foreskin


ha ha I'm sure it's your heart that is affected lol...I'm looking forward to the Easter weekend Rumple (grins)
Hope you have good weather this weekend, Lois. It's been damn near perfect here in Texas the last few days. That means, of course, a "blue norther" cold front will probably come howling through.

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Quote by Algol
Quote by chefkathleen
Umm, I've got cabbage rolls in the oven if anyone wants to share. I'm not sure about the kitchen here and I'm a bit afraid to do back and take a look.


I have not had those in a long time Chef... I'm in. Would you like wine or beer with those?

Algol


Wow things move quickly around here. LOL
Hope the golf is good today for you.

Mr. Rump you didn't do so bad with the methane output. Nicely held in.
Pepsi please.
Pepsi?

Little lady, don't you realize that when you're drinking Pepsi, you're just drinking soda water. But when you're drinking Coca-Cola, you're drinking holy water.

Still (puts glass of Pepsi in front of Chef) the customer is always right, at least that's what I'm told. Thought with some of the guy-type patrons, I'm beginning to wonder.

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
*Chef reaches out and grabs both of Rump's ears, bends his head forward and kisses the top of his punkin head*
Thanks Rumple. You put up with me just like my Marine does. He's a coke drinker too.


Can I have a few tequila shooters to share with my new friends please (winks)??
Quote by Exakta66

Hey Al...left another haiku up there after yours...just couldn't help myself...I can just see where that thread will lead...


Thank you Alan, I'm glad to know I can count on you.....
Algol
Quote by chefkathleen


Wow things move quickly around here. LOL
Hope the golf is good today for you.


Chef, that sounds like a Dorothy line from the Wizard of Oz…

"Wow things move quickly around here"
You can be Dorothy, Rumple can be the Wizard and “Oh my Toto look at the time” … I guess I had better stop there…

Golf was fun but of course there is room for improvement, so I'll have to go back again and again... it may take all summer for me to reach my true potential. But honestly it was nice just to be outside without a jacket…

I need a beer Rumple that was a long round and a few Aleve if you have any.

Algol
Algol
Hey Al...I think Scooter has some pills that I'm sure will relieve any pain you may have...I think he may have been selling them in the men's room earlier...
Where is he today? I always get concerned when I don't see him for a day...I'll watch the news later...
Cheers,
Alan.

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Chef, you'll make me blush.

Al, hope things went well for you out on the links. Figger after a hard day of strokin' around 18 holes, a cold beer is just what you need. Got a new serving wench, she's eager to please3, but sometimes warms the beer up a tad. Let me know if you find fault and I'll restrict her to serving hot toddies.



Just so you know, she's a MILF what goes by the name, Mia, so feel free to call her, Mama Mia.

Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Some how I feel this urge to say ,, (come here honey ,, Dont you run ) to this fine specimen of female flesh. !!
I need a beer holder like that...
Algol
Mia's got a firm grip on things, especially bottles and cans. And her unique ability leaves both hands free for other chores. A multi-talented, multi-tasking serving wench if there ever was one.

I'm heading for the barn. Last one to leave turn off the lava lamp, okay?


Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Good morning!!

Is verybody getting ready for the weekend?

T.G.I.F… The first round is on me!

Algol
Algol
Mia, take it easy, I need to get a good buzz going first before that kind of treatment...
Meantime, Rumple, I need something to counteract the pills I bought from Scooter. Tiger Woods just walked in here with his 143rd and 144th side-bitches, and they all are looking like giant penises right now. I mean, in Tiger's case, more than usual, you know.
Alan, your horse just walked out of the backalley kind of bow-legged. I wasn't paying attention when he came in, was that a result of his window-washing, or did I just train my mare that well?
After I shake this pill-induced hysteria, Rumple I'll have another Tom Collins, and give Lois a drink on my tab, whatever she wants. Hopefully, some healthy conversation with her grape-smugglers will help improve my game, I'll need it when Mia tries to "hand" me another beer.
thanks hun...I'll just have a brandy with a touch of coffee...oh wait it's the other way around (grins)...
Lois, don't tease me.
Oh, okay, keep going. I'll have a touch of brandy when you're done.
Consequently, thanks to everyone for the warm welcome. A round for everyone on whatever you'd like. And no, Tiger, they don't serve "women" as a beverage here, for God's sake, keep it in the back booth. We're all a little raunchy here, but that crunching noise is starting to unnerve even the most unhinged of us.
Lois, why is the one of your guys wearing underwear rubbing my shoulder? So long as there's a woman between us, that's fine, but I'm getting a little nervous. Scooter, what the hell did you give me?!
These gals are looking for a bit of employment ,, just temporary I think ,, they say that they are working their way through college ,, But I am not buying that story ,, So I told them that Rump is in charge of the interview process , and they would need to wait for him. ,, But in the mean time I got a preview of their qualifications for employment.