WHY?!?! Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?!?! Do you insist on calling me every hour on the hour?
Even after I cut the date short, did you think you could change my mind? Hounding me is not the way to go dude.
You are not my fucking child, nor any relation whatsoever. I have nothing invested in you except a couple of hours. You are a minor blip on my time line.
You're rude, arrogant, and downright fucking boring to be around. I swear I sprouted a few white hairs (on my ass) listening to you drone on and on for over two hours!
You are not God's gift to women. No matter how many times you tell yourself that, it simply isn't true.
Social cues are obviously not your strong point. I don't think I've ever been so good at the "duck and weave" to get the fuck away from you touching me. You'd think after I've done it for the 6th fucking time you'd get the hint.
1. We're in public. Be thankful I didn't create a scene and spit in your face.
2. I don't like to be molested in public by a virtual stranger.
3. You're a douche bag.
4. As a former restaurant server, you're attitude, actions and pathetic and measly tip to our patient and attentive waiter was disgusting. I slipped him another $20 for your bullshit. Maybe if you'd shut up long enough for me to say more than my name, you might've found out I was in the restaurant industry for over 20yrs.
5. You described your most "Epic Bowel Movements" as EBM's. Oh yeah, and you were so kind to describe it in depth and in detail. Who the fuck does that?? On a first date?!
6. You criticized my hair and tried to give me fashion advice. WTF?? I'd rather not have my hoohah on display. And it's none of your business if my nipples are perky or not. IT'S FUCKING WINTER AND I'M FREEZING!
7. You're still a douche bag.
I get it. You're pretty. And you think I'm pretty. And we can be pretty people together forever and ever. Perfect and pretty and plastic. UGH!
There's one slight hitch in your plan though. I'm not perfect or plastic. But I am pretty. Pretty fucking fantastic. And you're a selfish fucking moron.
And I've had my fill of selfish fucking morons to last me a few centuries.
I'm cold I'm tired and irritated. You can clearly see that. So don't fucking ask me questions. Also it would be nice say..... At least once in a while I get to sleep in. It's not like I'm asking for it all the time.
Dear mom, dad, sister, friend or any other passenger that enters my car: when I turn up my CD that means I want you to quit talking so I can listen to music, that does not mean I want you to shout over it.
2) No directing your rage at the site. Nicola and the mods do an amazing job here and work hard at making it this wonderful and if you don't like it, leave. This is for stuff outside the site. Stuff that you just need to vent about.
That Sucks!
Oh seriously for fuck sake
Dear pimple that decided to materialize near the corner of my eye,
I think you know that I'm weird about my eyes. I also think that's why you decided to show up there...the one place where I won't venture or use a magic potion. Come down to my nose or something and face me like a man, you fucking coward. And quit ruining my face...and my life!
Sincerely,
Annoyed as Fuck
"I don't act funny, bitch, I act accordingly." - Megan Thee Stallion
It is called an IP scrambler, yes it exists.
It is called go any further shit won't be pretty.
It is called let it the fuck go.
Creepy person.
Edited to add:I know what you did.
My rage is simple. Stupid people in general, and everyday there seems to be more and more of them... Anyone out there have an argument with this ??? Everywhere I go more and more of the dumb bastards come out. It reminds me of one of those old zombie movies. Doesn't anyone have a fucking brain in this country anymore.... It makes me sick some days, hell most days !!
My Stories
No Ordinary Gal
Fucked and Taken
That Special Evening
Fuck you, my shitty car and Monday.
Driving down the road as it slowly dies is a little bit frightening and even more scary when it's pitch dark out with nobody to come help me.
Fuck acrylic paint for not coming out of my sweater as I put my elbow right down into a wet pile of it.
Fuck headaches.
First, you insert yourself into the corner of my eye, where you know I won't zap you. And now...fucking now you have the fucking gall to HURT!! WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCKING FUCKING FUCK?!?! FUCKING GO AWAY ALREADY!
Oh, and to you: No one likes you. You can go away as well.
"I don't act funny, bitch, I act accordingly." - Megan Thee Stallion
Someone PLEASE remind EVERYONE (especially TV reality "stars") when to use the word "I" and when to use the word "me"!!!!!
There is no 'tude like GeekItude!
When I ask my employees if they need help. Tell me the truth and say yes I need help. Don't say I'm ok and don't need anything then whine that no one came to help.
When I ask my employees if they need help. Tell me the truth and say yes I need help. Don't say I'm ok and don't need anything then whine that no one came to help.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK????
So, why the fuck would you put MASSAGE oil, in an unmarked bottle that looks like expensive olive oil, in the cupboard with the fucking cooking oil????
Jesus, I poured it over the fucking expensive organic chicken with some nice herbs and spices before I put it in the oven.... Fuck knows what the thing will taste like when it's done (and yeah, I'm committed to it now)
At least the fucking house smells all floral... ACK!!
(If I never update again, you'll know it didn't turn out so edible and it killed me) hahahahahah
(maybe it will be awesome and start a new trend?)
omg mazza!!!!
am laughing
so do you think the chicken enjoyed the massage??
bless ya...
I would have been PISSED at whomever did that!!
soooo how was it??
oh this made me giggle..ty for this
Dear Brain,
Fuck you forever. It's your fault I'm up at 4:30 am fucking with a 10 page paper I finished like 11 hours ago. Seriously, it's fine. Take your ass back to sleep. Shit.
But I have something for that ass, Brain. We're gonna go in, and we're gonna turn in that paper. And then we're gonna take our happy asses home. And we're gonna get some fucking shut-eye. That's right you motherfucker. No stimulation for you today. And furthermore, we're watching fucking cartoons for the rest of the day. That'll teach you to fuck with me.
"I don't act funny, bitch, I act accordingly." - Megan Thee Stallion
Fuck me.
I'm getting too old to be staying up as late as I did.
Yes. I am aware of how fucking old I am.
But fuck.
You made me get . It changed my homepage and I get popups and now you're not even on it.
Freaking lame ass *****************
Fuck you city of Atlanta!
And fuck the douchebag meter-maid giving me a parking ticket!
Not only did you get the incorrect time, you also got the incorrect space my car was parked in, AS WELL as the make of my car.
Fucking comedy of fucking errors.
I don't give a shit about your quota. That's fucked up. You didn't get a single thing right but my plate #.
If I could kick you in the nuts Lawrence, I would.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
FUCK SICKLES!
SHIT SICKLES!
MOTHERFUCKING FUCK!
Why couldn't you defend the triple option Steckel!? Jesus Christ. Your idiocy was like taking a spiked bat up the butt.
*Image removed by Rage Patrol*
Great...... It's going to be another one of those days....
OMFG!! Get off the goddamn phone and go DO something else besides calling me 80 fucking times in a day! THIS is not healthy.
If I don't answer my home phone, you will call (badger the fuck outta me) my cell and/or text me and/or email me and/or message me on fucking facebook.
You will leave 80 fucking messages to call you back, but not why I should call you back. And if I DON'T call you back (cause I know it's utter bullshit), you will try to lay the biggest fucking guilt trip on me over some petty bullshit I couldn't give a rat's ass about anyways! I don't care.
But I do care about the amount of time it takes you to try to guilt me over the fucking phone!
If you can't guilt me in 5 mins or less, GIVE UP! Quit grasping at straws to make me feel guilty. I don't fucking care anymore.
Go get a fucking hobby. I have my own family and shit to do besides listen to you bitch, whine, moan and complain about how my sister doesn't do anything for you and leeches off you. (Cause you know you're entitled to it!) Gimme a fucking break.
You were spoiled. Because I used to do everything for you. Maybe you should've treated her like Cinder-fucking-ella instead of me. Maybe I would've finished school instead of going to work to support your lazy fucking ass after Dad died.
BRAVO!! You've got yourself a selfish 30 yr old parasite. You should be proud. You're the one that raised her that way. You taught her well. Monkey see. Monkey do.
Motherfucking roommates.
Go suck a dick, bitch!
I don't like tracking shit into my room. I'll line my motherfucking shoes outside my goddamn all I fucking want!
You don't even fucking hang out upstairs anyway. You just sleep up there. They aren't fucking hurting you.
Why don't you turn the fucking stairway light out and not leave it on fucking 24/7.
You bitch about neatly lined up shoes but dick around wasting electricity?
You know what? Go suck a dick and take one up the ass, bitch.
To all the asshats driving 15-20 mph under the limit... I hope you get AIDS from a rusty syringe pulled from an obese businessman who spends his time screwing street hookers in New Jersey.
