Unintentional Innuendoes

1 Jan 2016

There are few things funnier, I think, than unintentional innuendoes. Especially when it comes from the sort of sweet and innocent person who clearly never meant to say it! So I want to know about some of the funnier innuendoes that you've heard, with the explicit rule being that the person who made the innuendo did so completely unwittingly.

I've got a few, but one of the funniest I've heard came from a young (19), very sweet (and cute), but really shy individual. She is never the type of person who would ever talk about sex, or even get involved in the slightest bit of smut. So that immediately makes it funnier for me!

We were in the office, and we worked in one of those offices where cutlery was at a premium. If you didn't get to the knives and forks fast, then you didn't get one!

We'd gone out to buy a few things to bring back at lunch time, and went out later than most other people had. I had bought something I could take straight to the desk, whereas she had to go to the kitchen. A few moments later she came back to the desk, full of people, sat down and turn to me and said:

'You'd never guess what Aaron caught me doing in the kitchen just now?'

Now, if it was ANYONE else other than her who had said it (because I knew how embarrassed she got with even ironic 'urgh' comments (but I'm still immature enough to partake in such rubbish)), I held my tongue and simply said 'no, what did he catch you doing?'

Well, I couldn't hold in my immature any longer when she responded with....

'he caught me buttering my bread roll with my fingers'.

The whole desk fell about laughing, at which point she realised what she had said, went bright red, and started screaming 'noooooo, noooo. That's NOT what I meant!!!!!'

1 Jan 2016

I went to a pot luck for a charity function. This guy I was talking to said, "I really like your buns. They look tasty."

I replied, "Thanks, but I brought the Green Bean Casserole."

He smiled and said, "I know."