Published Date: 12 August 2008
Comedian Tim Minchin, 33, is married with one daughter and lives in North London.
I'M A ladies' man, no question. Not in the Russell Brand kind of way, quite the contrary in fact. But I love women; always have.
I like warm, laughing, open women because they hug me and I like that because their skin is soft and they have boobs. I like cold, aloof women who are hard to impress because it's so satisfying when they smile, eventually. I like little petite women because unlike little petite men, they tend to be totally happy in their littleness.
I like big curvy women because, well, because they're curvy and big and for some reason such geometry seems correlated (dare I say) with ease of laughter and sharpness of wit.
I like really old women because they were nurses in wars and you think they are all pruney and conservative but then they call someone a f***ing idiot for changing lanes without indicating. I like female lawyers because they wear suits and know how to argue. Nice.
I like women who dress up in heels and illogically short dresses and lots of make-up, because why not? I like women who refuse to wear make-up and refuse to shave their legs and only ever wear jeans. There were a lot more of them in the 90s. Where did they go? They're probably the lawyers in suits now.
I like women who want to be looked after and I like women who want to look after you. I like straight women and gay women. I like bi-curious women.
Everyone does.
I think I quite fancy Japanese women, but that's ridiculous because there are loads of them and so statistically some of them would be really annoying and have no sense of humour.
I don't find women mysterious the way blokes always claim to. Or rather, I find them mysterious, but sort of figure-outable.
I think I like women because I grew up surrounded by the bloody things: a mother who told it as she saw it, who laughed at funny stuff and fought annoying stuff and freaked out at scary stuff; smart, funny sisters who looked up to me and hounded me and laughed and laughed and laughed; cousins who played music and wore bikinis and looked beautiful in ball dresses; grandmothers who danced comically and taught me tapestry; aunts with critical eyes and sparkling eyes and folk bands; a godmother with envelopes of $20 bills and buckets of silliness.
And then the girlfriends, of which I've only had two. Number one was my first love, my uni-crush, my virginity-taker, my KFC-and-videos-when-we-should-be-at-lectures. We were together for three years and then she broke my heart. Temporarily, it transpired.
The second was an injured dancer turned lawyer – who taught me to love jazz and women in suits; the one who taught me there might be love beyond first love.
The third was the first one again, who proved – in the end – that for me there was to be no getting over the first love. At the end of next year, we will have been together half our lives – pretty rare for 33-year-olds these days.
Maybe more than anything else, I probably love women because they've always been nice to me. Which is nice of them.
Now I've got a new woman. She wakes me at night and I go into her room grumpy and tired but glad for the opportunity to see her. She's a mystery to me, but I'll figure her out.
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
What I know about women: Tim Minchin
Matriarch
I enjoyed that Chef.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by nicola
I enjoyed that Chef.
Ditto.
Active Ink Slinger
Funny, Thats how I see life in general, open and acceptance, enjoy what you have and what lies ahead of us, challenges to make us think deeper, love to make us return to what we want in life! To be needed, wanted and make others smile!
Thanks for this!
Run
Thanks for this!
Run