"When we met, he said he was going to take care of me. He said he’d give me anything my heart desired, as long as I stayed with him. He said he loved me unconditionally. He was a good guy, very loving, without an evil bone in his body. He’d look out for me, he said. He knew what I wanted, and what I really needed. He knew that what I wanted wasn’t always what I needed. He corrected my misconceptions. What I really needed was him. He was perfect for me, and he only wanted me to be perfect for him, too. He knew me better than anyone else did, even myself, and he could always tell my flaws, even the ones I kept most secret, and never let me forget them. He wanted me to do better. He was far better than me in telling what was right and wrong. He helped me see that I’ve always been very prone to making serious errors of judgment about myself and my conduct. He made me see how much I needed his guidance in my life, and how I was nothing without him to correct me. He can be harsh and scary sometimes. He calls it ‘tough love,’ and I know it’s love because he watches me all the time - even in my most private moments, to make sure I don’t screw up. He said he’d give me anything my heart desired, but I learned that my heart should really truly only desire him over anything else. Sometimes I still get that wrong. Sometimes he tests me so he can know whether I really deserve his love. I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes, but he is always quick to correct me and put me on the right path again. He can see how wrong I am before I even see it myself. He lets me know how fortunate I am that he can find it in his heart to forgive me when I screw up, which I'm always doing. It seems like I’m always in need of his forgiveness for something or other. As hard as I try, I know I’ll never be as perfect as him. He’s so perfect. Next to him, I’m a piece of garbage- a real piece of shit - and I need to remember every waking minute how lucky I am for him to even take notice of me. He’s shown me that I’m defective, broken, bad, stubborn, willful, and undeserving of his love. But he is merciful, and will show me the right way - by force if necessary – to keep him happy like I should, because ultimately, it’s for my own good."
Wouldn't you rather have a nice cup of tea?
Don't believe everything that you read.
