"I can't get a lick of sleep, Doc!" a woman complained to her GP.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"My husband snores so bad, I can't get any
sleep. I'm thinking of smothering him!"
"Hmmm, try this. Take a piece of string and tie it taut around his testicles. That will stop the snore." he confidently advised.
"Ok, I'll try anything." she shrugged.
So that night, hubby staggered in after a poker game with his mates, drunk stiff. A few minutes later he is dead asleep on the downstairs sofa, cutting up logs.
Wifey wakes up madder than a wet hen and storms downstairs ready to bludgeon him. She remembers the doctor's treatment plan, and rummages through her sewing basket looking for string. She finds a red ribbon and ties it taut around her hubby's nuts. Sure enough, it stops the snoring! Amazed and pleased, she trots back upstairs and falls sound asleep.
Suddenly, the wife awakens again, to a most annoying sonic clatter. She rushes downstairs, and finds their German Shepard fast asleep by his master, snoring to beat the band. She locates another ribbon - a nice blue one. Tying it taut on the dog's bollocks does the trick! The dog is dead silent, as is his master.
Thoroughly delighted, the wife returns to bed and has the best sleep of her life. She awakes happy, showers, and leaves for work with a song in her heart and a skip to her step. Hubby and his faithful companion are silently sleeping the day away.
Hubby awakes first and glances at his dog. The dog awakes, and grins wide eyed, tail wagging at his master. Noticing the ribbons around their balls, the hubby scratches his head, bewildered for a moment. He looks at his dog sheepishly and comments,
"Well Shep, I don't know what the hell we got into last night, but looks like you took first prize and I came in second!"
