A black guy was praying one day when God, for some reason, decided to answer him.
"Lord," asked the black guy. "Why are my legs so long?"
"So you can run like the wind through the jungle."
"Lord, why is my hair so kinky?"
"So it won't get caught on anything as you run through the jungle."
"Lord, why is my skin so dark?"
"So that you won't get burned by the sun's intense rays in the jungle."
And then the black guy asked, "Lord, why am I in Chicago?"
"Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher says.
Leroy replies:
"Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."
The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy.
After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks,
"Leroy, how is your hearing now?"
Leroy says,
"I don't know, Reverend, it ain't til next Wednesday !"
One Sunday, Shane walks into a church and kneels down at the altar and begins to pray to God, stating that he owes many people money and asks to win the lottery. After he is done praying, he gets up and walks out.
The next Sunday he goes to the same church and pleads with God through his prayers to let him win the lottery so that he can pay these people back.
The next Sunday comes around and Shane enters the church very upset and close to tears, he kneels at the alter and asks why God is doing this to him and say's that he has asked to win the lottery for three weeks now and nothing. Suddenly there came a loud bang of thunder and God spoke, "Shane, meet me halfway on this will you : Buy a damn ticket!"
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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The teacher asks the class to write a short composition dealing with four major subjects: religion, nobility, sex and mystery. In a flash, Anna 's hand shoots up. Amazed at the rapid response, the teacher asks her to read her piece out loud.
"'Oh my God!' exclaimed the countess, 'I'm pregnant, and I don't know by whom.'"
