A man was sleeping on his deathbed. The man woke up to see his wife silently praying beside him.
He said, " Martha, I have something to confess to you."
She said, "No dear, save your energy."
He said, "I must tell you so I may pass on to heaven, I cheated on you."
She said, " I know, I poisoned you."
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Three nuns die and are at the gates of heaven and St. Peter pops up and says "Before you enter heaven you must each answer one question correctly".
The first Nun was asked "Who was the first man on earth?" to which she replied "Adam" and was allowed into heaven.
The second Nun was asked "Who was the first woman on earth?" to which she replied "Eve" and was allowed into heaven.
The third Nun was asked "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" to which she replied "Ohh! That's a hard one"
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Is the nun saying if this particular question was too difficult? or Eve was rather talking about how she had felt Adam's manhood at intercourse? ha, ha, ha!!
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Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.
4. It's usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
5. It's best to have a soft place to land.
6. You don't need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.
7. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.
8. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.
9. Once you learn, you never forget how.
10. If you fall off get right back on.
11. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.
12. Remember to signal before you change direction.
13. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.
14. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.
15. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.
16. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.
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Ok, buddies: which out of these 16 statements did you like the most? What about number one? You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
Active Ink Slinger
@ #8