A Blonde went to the ocean and she decided to get a permanent reminder of her visit because she had such a good time. So she decided to get a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh (because thats where we all decide to get them)!
She went home and things were well. She brought home a man one night and they were getting hot and heavy and down to business when all of a sudden her man friend saw her tattoo. He asked her about it and she said, ''If you put your ear close enough to it you can smell the fish!!!''
Good one, fystee-fun.
Let's hear some more of your favorite blonde jokes, everyone.
That's.. I don't know... is it ok to laugh now?
[Catnip bursts into laughter.]
It's with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains....yes, her husband just died.
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The brunette knows that she's speeding so she asks the blonde if there's a cop behind them. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette. The brunette then asks if his he's got his lights on. The blonde replies "Yes...No...Yes...No...Yes...No"
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn't. The buxom blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath. The other blonde said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
A blonde women started to work at a school as a teacher. It came to break time, and while she was on duty she noticed a girl standing on her own and thought nothing of it. Later in the day when lunch time came she noticed the same girl on her own again, while other children were enjoying a game of football. She decided to go over to the girl and asked her if she was alright, the girl replied "Yes" and the teacher said "Why are you always on your own here?" to which the girl replied "Because I'm the goalie!"
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
LMFAO!!
