Pulling up to the toll booth Jack hands the collector a $100 bill.
Looking incredulously at the bill, the collector, in a snappy tone, exclaims “I can’t break this! I need exact change.”
“Come on buddy.” Jack pleads, “Can’t you give me a break, just this once?”
“Nope. Sorry. Exact change!” Answers the collector.
“While thumbing through the change in his ashtray Jack asks the collector, “Do you really like this job?”
“Well it’s not the best job that I’ve ever had, but it pays the bills,” replies the collector, “what do you do for a living?” he asks.
Still counting change and without looking up Jack says, “I’m a rectum stretcher.”
“A what?” asks the collector.
“A rectum stretcher.” Jack replies, giving the collector a sideways glance.
“What does a rectum stretcher do?” The collector asks.
“Well just as the name implies, I stretch rectums.” Jack explains setting aside a nickle.
“Wow, is there much call for that kind of work?” The collector asks.
“Oh you’d be surprised. It’s real popular with the upper crust, the high society people, the jet set. It’s the new trend.” Jack says.
Pausing for a moment the collector then asks, “Well if you don’t mind me asking, I mean if it’s not too personal, how big do you, well you know...?”
“... How big do I stretch them?” Jack interrupts. “Most of them, not too big,” He continues, “but I have stretched some up to six feet.”
“SIX FEET!” The collector exclaims eyes wide, and jaw slack. “Six Feet. What is someone going to do with a six foot asshole?”
Jack, having counted out the exact change, hands the change to the collector. Looking him in the eye, Jack answers, “Oh, put it on a toll bridge collecting tolls.”
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