First Condom

18 Jun 2014

""I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, `No, this is my first time.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

`Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. `Do these excite you?' She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.

`Well, come on', she said, `We don't have much time.' So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. `Did you put that condom on?' she asked.

I said, `I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her......

She fainted." laughing6

18 Jun 2014

I haven't heard that joke since I was in high school. A couple years now I think.

How about a bad joke thread? Just dumb old humor that's still funny.

Here's one.

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

I am always a gentleman.

18 Jun 2014

No hecklers please Shhh

A guy walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No', he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..' The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch? ''What's so special about it?' The Guy explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.' The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?' Well, it says you're not wearing any knickers.' The woman giggles and replies 'Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!' .....The guy smiles, taps his watch and says, 'Bloody thing's an hour fast!'

A bad joke thread sounds like a good idea tho smile