Twenty years together & the wife still gets upset if I use her toothbrush.
So if anyone knows another way to get dog shit out of sneakers I am all
ears...
My mate's missus left him last thursday; she said she was going out for
a pint of milk and never came back! I asked him how he was coping and he
said, 'Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff.'
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my
wife. They said, "Is this your wife sir?" Shocked, I answered, " Yes".
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus". I said, "I
know, but she has a lovely personality."
After both suffering depression for a while me and the wife were going
to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed
herself i started to feel a lot better, so I thought what the heck...
soldier on!
Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house. Paddy picks up
a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing
this until Murphy says "Why are you throwing them away?" "Because
they're upside down!" says Paddy. "You daft prat," replies Murphy "Save
'em for the ceiling!"
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Can't stop laughing at this one. KEEP them coming Bro 