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Genie

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A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp.
He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie!

The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes.
So you can forget about getting three wishes. You only get one wish."

The man sat down on the beach and thought about it for awhile. Then he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii; but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick.
Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so that I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?
Think of how much concrete... how much steel...! No. Think of another wish."

The man tried to think of another wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced several times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive.
So I wish that I could understand women... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatments...know why they're crying...know what they really want when they say, 'Nothing'...knows how to make them truly happy...."

The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"
ROFL!
Writing quality explicit material for over eight one-hundredths of a century.

"If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while." - Tom Lehrer

"There is no such thing as good luck or bad luck; only adequate or inadequate preparation for a statistical universe." - Robert Heinlein
It is sooooo true! LOL
=d> Classic