A couple had only been married for three weeks when the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old running buddies.
So, as he jiggled their car keys in his pocket, he said to his new wife, "Honey Bunny, I'm just going to run out for a quick moment. I'll be right back."
Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I thought maybe down to the pub, Sweetie Pie. I'm thirsty for a brew or three."
His wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 15 different kinds of beer; brands from 9 different countries on all the continents: Germany, Kenya, Mexico, India, etc...
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know... they have frosty beer glasses, and... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen mug, Hon?" She took a huge beer stein out of the ice chest, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, stammered, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want warmed yummy snacks, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, peppered cheeseballs, and pork strips.
"But, my sweet darling baby sugar dumpling... at the pub.... you know there's swearing, dirty words, male bonding and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP YOU CHICKEN SHIT COCKSUCKER! SIT YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR GAWDDAMNED BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT THOSE DAMNED HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ARSE ISN'T GOING TO ANOTHER FUCKING BAR -- SO YOU CAN GET RIPPED AND CHASE STRANGE PUSSY! THAT FRIGGIN LIFE IS OVER! GOT THAT SHIT STRAIGHT, ASSHOLE?"
And, they lived happily ever after...
Constant Gardener
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
