BATTLE FOR CUSTODY
The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court. But custody of the children was a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that, since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children. The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and said, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
SPERM BANK ROBBERY
A man wearing a balaclava bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. "Open the fucking safe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter. "But we're not a real bank" replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money". "Don't argue just open the safe or I'll blow your fucking head off!" She obliges and opens the safe door.
"Take one of the bottles and drink it!"
"But it's full of sperm" the girl replies nervously.
"Don't argue, just drink it" he says. She prises off the cap and gulps it down.
"Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands. The girl drinks another one. Suddenly the guy pulls off the balaclava and to the girl's amazement it's her husband.......
"Not that fucking difficult is it?" he says
%%%
Ok, could you please cast your vote here? BATTLE FOR CUSTUDY, or SPERM BANK ROBBERY are your favorites?
Active Ink Slinger