Idiots guide to sex

29 Jan 2009

1. IN -> OUT <- *Repeat as often as possible
2. A condominium is NOT the smallest size they make.

3.If she says "doggy style", then DO NOT whip down to the local S.P.C.A.

4. Doing the missionary position does not mean you have sex in a church.

5. If your stomach hurts it is not an orgasm, more likely indigestion or appendicitis.

6. A porn shop will not give you money for your used stuff, that's a pawn shop.

7. If your wife tells you sex is a "pain in the ass" turn her over.

8. A threesome does not mean letting the dog watch you use both hands.

9. Karma Sutra is not a martial art, therefore don't tell your lover that you have a black belt in it.

10. Well-endowed is not a reference to the size of your bank account.