Paddy is planning to marry, he is, and he asks his family doctor how he can tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.
His doctor says, "Aye, Paddy, all Irish use three things for what we call a 'Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit,'
a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint, and a shovel."
Paddy asks, "Aye, and what do I do with these things, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "Before ye climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever did see,' you hit her with the shovel."
Advanced Wordsmith
