When you name your right hand, and you cheat on it with your left.
You've watched every single porn movie ever made... EVER.
You watch porno’s and think of them as research material.
You get jealous of the dog humping someone’s leg.
The hair on your palms keeps getting caught in the keyboard!
When you cum, dust comes out.
If It weren't for pickpockets, you'd have no sex life at all.
You're so horny, you get aroused when you squeeze into a tight parking place.
When the thought "She's not THAT old" enters your mind at least once a day.
You start to maturbate and have to pull out the manual.
while watching an old Stooges flick, Curly really turns you on.
You fantasize about chicks in video games.
You can't wait for sunrise just so you can see "the crack of dawn".
You get a hug and you have to change your underwear.
when you give your showerhead nicknames.
when you begin to believe that "BOB" is really the name of your loyal boyfriend.
when you keep a AA battery supply in your night stand drawer.
Everything looks like a Phallic symbol; curling irons, pool cues, lengthy pine cones, whole heads of broccoli, shampoo bottles, toothpaste tubes, remote controls, traffic cones, javelins... but worse yet, they're mocking you.
When the most action your kitty's getting is from a tampax.
you keep on burning out a sex toy that has a 7 year warranty and customer service knows you by name.
A good-looking guy says: "Spread 'em, babe," and you proceed to the kitchen to make toast with butter.
You start rating cartoon characters on the “doable” scale.
When someone talks about doggy style you think of clothes for pets.
Your feminine side has a restraining order against you.
The hair on your blow up doll has turned grey.
The computer freezes up from all the porn You downloaded.
You get excited when You hear the "Windows Start up tune".
You wake up at 3 am just to watch girls gone wild infomercials.
When you don't have anymore black socks.
When your area gets an imprint from your hand, like a couch does from your butt.
When you start paying for porn.
You have to take care of yourself before you go out...just so you don't jump the first thing that says "hi".
When the only pussy that's been anywhere near your lap has four legs and sharp claws.
You leave your own nipple print in the peanut butter as a sexy surprise.
You search the web for deals on 55 gallon drums of KY jelly to save money.
When your condoms expire.
When you figure out the car AC can be put at the perfect angle when you are wearing a skirt.
when during lunch you close the door to your office, set your mobile to "vibrate" and repeatedly call yourself from the desk's landline.
Even in your fantasies, you can't get her clothes off.
When your right bicep is more than an inch bigger than your left.
The only reason you take Viagra is to stop yourself rolling out of bed.
A gust of wind makes your eyes roll to the back of your head.
The spin cycle is "great" quality time.
And finally, you've purchased a ginormous hard drive so that you can download all the porn in the world. How large would such a drive need to be, you may ask? One masturbyte.
Apologies if this was already posted.
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It's Been Too Long...
Internet Sensation
"Everything looks like a Phallic symbol; curling irons, pool cues, lengthy pine cones, whole heads of broccoli, shampoo bottles, toothpaste tubes, remote controls, traffic cones, javelins... but worse yet, they're mocking you."
Wooops...
Wooops...
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by roccotool
If It weren't for pickpockets, you'd have no sex life at all.
You're so horny, you get aroused when you squeeze into a tight parking place.
.
LOL I like those two the most
Quote by roccotool
You get excited when You hear the "Windows Start up tune".
You have to take care of yourself before you go out...just so you don't jump the first thing that says "hi".
When the only pussy that's been anywhere near your lap has four legs and sharp claws.
A gust of wind makes your eyes roll to the back of your head.
ooopps