In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone:
"Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin"
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but as the lazy no- goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote:
"Returned unopened"
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Alcohol has stimulating, depressing and mood-altering functions that leave practically no circuit or system of the brain untouched. It acts as a stimulant when it directly stimulates those brain cells, which lead to feelings of pleasure and euphoria. It is a depressant when it slows the brain down and reduces tensions and worries. It can affect our judgement and make us do things we would not usually do when sober. Read next joke: this guy should be worried about finding his wife in such condition, ain't it Rocco?
A drunk returns home with an equally drunk friend.
"Thish ish my houshe!"
"And thash ish your pianer?"
"Yesh, and thish is my bedroom!"
"Thash ish your wife?"
"Yesh, and thash guy on top of her, thash me!"
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