On his last day on the job, a mailman is greeted by a young housewife who invites him in for breakfast. After the feast she leads him to the bedroom for an extensive sexual romp. Afterward she gives him two dollars.
“Jeez,” says the mailman, “this is great, but what’s with the two dollars?”
“Well,” she replies, “since you’re retiring, I asked my husband what we should do for you. He said, ‘Fuck him—give him a couple of bucks.’ Breakfast was my idea.”
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2. Q: Why are nurses so bad at oral sex?
A: They always wait for the swelling to go down.
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3. Q: Why did God give women orgasms?
A: So they would have something else to moan about.
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4. Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your schlong.
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5. Batman goes to see the psychiatrist!
A man goes to see a psychiatrist, who shows him a picture of an inkblot.
“What does this picture remind you of?” the doctor asks.
“A lesbian nun orgy,” the guy replies.
“How about this one?” the shrink asks, holding up another picture.
“A cheerleader orgy,” the guy says.
After three more pictures, the doctor finally puts down the cards. “You are a sick pervert,” he says.
“Me?” the guy says indignantly. “You’re the one who keeps showing me dirty pictures.”
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6. A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if the store carries extra-large condoms. “Yes we do,” he says. “Would you like to buy some?” “No,” she replies. “But do you mind if I wait around until someone does?”
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7. A widow goes on her first date since her husband’s death, and afterward the two end up back at her place. Once in the bedroom, she takes off everything but her black panties.
“You can touch me anywhere else,” she says, “but down there I’m still mourning.”
“I figured as much,” says the man. He then proceeds to pull down his pants and put on a black condom. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to offer my deepest condolences.”
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Ok, Batman, techgoddess, rocco -italian name. Which of the 7? I've never heard about any of these. So we can still learn more of the lesson! N° 7 is my favorite. I'm always ahead at all kinds of situations.
