Yo mama is so fat, that every time you smack her butt, you can ride the waves!
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Housekeeping
One day Marcos comes home from a hard day at work. He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa. So Marcos goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind. After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head.
His wife yells, ‘’What was that for!?’’
To which Marcos replies, ’’That’s for not checking to see who it was.’’
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First impressions are everything
Q: What did the prostitute knee say to the other? A: Nothing. They have never met.
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Before dining
A prayer or 'blessing' may be customary in some households, and the guests may join in or be respectfully silent. Most prayers are made by the host before the meal is eaten.
One does not start eating until (a) every person is served or (b) those who have not been served request that you begin without waiting. At more formal occasions all diners should be served at the same time and will wait until the hostess or host lifts a fork or spoon before beginning.
Napkins are placed in the lap. At more formal occasions diners will wait to place their napkins on their laps until the host places his or her napkin on his or her lap.
One waits until the host has picked up his or her fork or spoon before starting to eat.
When eating very messy foods, such as barbecued ribs or crab, in an informal setting, where it must be eaten with the fingers and could cause flying food particles, a 'bib' or napkin tucked into the collar may be used by adults. Wet wipes or ample paper napkins should be provided to clean the hands. In formal settings, bibs or napkins used as such are improper, and food should be prepared by the chef so that it may be eaten properly with the provided utensils.
