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Military School

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In a military class the professor asked the students, “What is the difference between an engagement and a battle?”

No one in the group offered any answer. The professor was frustrated.

“Didn’t anyone read the material in the book?” he thundered.

Finally, one guy said that he knew the answer.

“An engagement is the thing that came before marriage,” he said, “while the battle is what followed it.”
short, sweet and funny.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw