When all through the house,
Everybody felt shitty even the mouse.
With Mom at the whore house,
And dad smoking grass,
I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass!
When out on the lawn I hear such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter!
When out on the lawn I saw a big dick,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment the fucker had fell!
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick for my brother, the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart!
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all and have a Hell of a night!
