Matriarch
Did you hear about the drummer who was so depressed about his bad timing that he threw himself behind a train?
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
Musician Jokes
last reply
7 replies
831 views
0 watchers
0 likes
A trombone player and an accordion player are playing a New Years's eve gig at a local club,
The place is packed and everybody is absolutely loving the music,
shortly after midnight, the club owner comes up to the duo and says,
"You guys sound great .. everybody loves you .. I'd like to know if the two of you are free to come back here next New Year's eve to play ??
The two musicians look at each other then to the club owner .. and the trombone player says,
"Sure .. we'd love to .. Is it OK if we leave our stuff here ??"
The place is packed and everybody is absolutely loving the music,
shortly after midnight, the club owner comes up to the duo and says,
"You guys sound great .. everybody loves you .. I'd like to know if the two of you are free to come back here next New Year's eve to play ??
The two musicians look at each other then to the club owner .. and the trombone player says,
"Sure .. we'd love to .. Is it OK if we leave our stuff here ??"
Matriarch
An orchestra begins a two-week tour. One hour before the first concert, the conductor becomes sick and cannot conduct. The orchestra has to find a substitute. The orchestra manager asks all the members of the orchestra if they can take over. The only one willing is one of the violists. He conducts the entire tour to rave reviews and standing ovations in every city.
At the first rehearsal after the tour, the conductor is recovered so the violist takes his old seat in the viola section. His stand partner looks at him and says, “Where have you been for the last two weeks?”
A percussionist, tired from being ridiculed by other musicians, decides to change instruments.
He walks into a music shop and says,
"I'll take that red trumpet over there, and that accordion."
After a second, the shop assistant says,
"OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator stays."
He walks into a music shop and says,
"I'll take that red trumpet over there, and that accordion."
After a second, the shop assistant says,
"OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator stays."
Active Ink Slinger
A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."
What's the first sign of madness ?...............Suggs walking up your driveway
I fainted in the curry house when I heard REM had split up .......that's me in the korma
What's the first sign of madness ?...............Suggs walking up your driveway
I fainted in the curry house when I heard REM had split up .......that's me in the korma
Prolific Writer
A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper.
She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is.
The local person replies, "Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing."
She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is.
The local person replies, "Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing."
Matriarch
A couple was having marital difficulties and consulted a marriage counselor.
After meeting with them, the counselor told them that their problems could all be traced to a lack of communication.
"You two need to talk," he said. "So, I recommend that you go to a jazz club. Just wait until it's time for the bass player to solo.
"Why is that?" asked the wife.
"Because then you'll be talking just like everyone else."
After meeting with them, the counselor told them that their problems could all be traced to a lack of communication.
"You two need to talk," he said. "So, I recommend that you go to a jazz club. Just wait until it's time for the bass player to solo.
"Why is that?" asked the wife.
"Because then you'll be talking just like everyone else."