A priest taking a bath
This was a priest in a monastery who used to take a bath every night in his own bath tube while a sister nun gave him a hand at this. She had been trained, educated in the mission for these tasks so was pretty familiar with this, everything the father needed she would reach it for him during his customary bath.
One morning, the sister runs into the Superior Mother and says to her:
“Oh, Mother, I’ve been saved, I’ll go to heaven!!”
Superior Mother is amazed and replies:
“But… how possible can you say that, sister, such an important, glorious event taking place here, in this monastery, my beloved?”
The nun says:
“Well, I was helping Father Joseph last night, and he grabbed my hand, took it to his highs, claiming what I was touching was the key to enter heaven, but it was necessary to check if it works in my lock and see how the Heaven Gates opened for me, thus be saved.”
Mother Superior gets really annoyed, infuriated, saying:
“That old pervert motherfucker!! Tell me, what happened next?”
The nun replies:
“Well, his key worked perfectly and fitted in my lock indeed. He told me that it would hurt a little, considering travel through highway to heaven would be something tough and painful but worth it. He said I’d feel great pleasure though.”
Mother Superior says:
“That son of a bitch!! He’s been lying on me, a dishonest, two faced double dealing guy, by saying that stuff between his legs was a trumpet I should play, Saint Gabriel Archangel trumpet while he's got me blow it for 20 years by now!”””
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An Italian woman preparing to become a nun is suing her ex-boyfriend to have a topless photo of her removed from his Facebook page.
The 31-year-old woman, who is scheduled to take her vows at a Turin convent this fall, said the picture was taken three years ago at a Sicilian beach, ANSA reported Wednesday.
The lawsuit seeks to have the picture, labeled by the poster as a “topless nun,” removed from the social networking site.
ANSA said the picture has gathered a number of borderline lewd comments.
”If all nuns were like her, I’d become a priest,” one comment reads.
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