"I hate people who think it's okay to take drugs.... Like Customs Officers...."
"I'm in a relationship at the moment so sorry.... It's going to have to be your place..."
"At school, I wanted to join the debating society but they talked me out of it..."
"I once masturbated in a lift, which was wrong on so many levels..."
"I'm currently dating anorexic twins! Two birds, one stone!"
"I hope I'm an optimist..."
"A hotel mini-bar enables you to see what a can of Pepsi will cost in a shop in 2018.
"I'm dyslexic, so eating Alphabetti Spaghetti isn't as much fun for me..."
"If you ask a random selection of housewives how often they wash their panties, a surprising number will respond, 'What the fuck are you doing in my house?'"
"If you overdose on The Morning After Pill do you go forward in time?"
*Bows*
xx Steph