Scotland where...
"Alright baw bag" is a customary greeting
"Cunt" is also a customary greeting
"Thingy" means absolutely anything
"Fuck off" means really
"Moan then" is an invitation to battle
"Hunners" means 1,2 or 3
"12 degrees" means summer
"Ma bit" means your house
"Bawhair" is a recognised unit of measurement
"Where u fae" determines if your getting a dooin or not
"Fuck it" is the solution to all problems
"Ahh ya bastard" means ouch I just hurt myself
"Swear doon" means I promise
"N wit" stands as a valid come back
"Aboot a hunner year ago" means last week
"Hawl u" means I demand your immediate attention
"Ye gem" means want to have sex with me
"Get yer rat oot" is an invitation to sexual intercourse
"Bullet" is an appropriate name for a dog
"How diz naw grab ye" is a valid response
"Patsy Cline" is not a singer
"Mad man" means normal person
"Poke" means finger sex
"Here" means excuse me
"Pure" is an adjective for every noun
"Yer maw" is a comeback for anything
Scotland where they speak fluent sarcasm
Scotland where getting mwi (mad with it) is a hobby
Scotland where u get stabbed for wearing chinos
Scotland where everybudys yer cousin
Scotland where you get the jail even although ye wur only havin a laugh
Scotland where "chappy's" a sport
Scotland where verbal abuse is "banter"
Scotland where everybody (or everycunt) knows "Wee Jimmy"
Scotland where anyone younger than u is 12
Scotland where you learn to spark a fag before u can count
Scotland where head is more than just a body part
Scotland where going to the shop before 10 is a mission
Scotland where sexual harassment is considered as flirting
I'm Scottish and proud
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