Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions : Hungry
and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson
from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase
cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to
make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people
take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno
peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Advanced Wordsmith