- Say Father, what causes arthritis?
The priest replies:
"My son, its caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and comtempt for your fellow man."
-Well, I'll be darned -the drunk muttered, returning to his newspaper. The priest thinking about what he said, nudged the drunk and apologised:
"Im sorry to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I dont have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
%%%%%%%
Drunk
A man has too much to drink at a party. His friends offer to drive him home, but he says no -he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask his to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a call for a robbery taking place in a house just a block away.
The police tell him to say put; they will be right back -and they run down the street to the robbery. After a few minutes, the man decides to drive home. When he get there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
A few hours later, the police knock on the door. They ask if a Mr. Marcos lives there, and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police ask to see his car and she asks shy. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door-where they find the police car, lights still flashing.
