Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
R. 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
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What did the egg say to the boiling water?
"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."
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1. The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said:
"Oh sir, did you know that your barracks door was open?"
He did not understand her remark, but later on happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open.
He decided to have some fun with his new employee. Calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you also see a soldier standing at attention?"
The secretary, who was quite witty, replied, "Why, no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!"
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2. A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
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Well, I've surf the web for many years now, but never heard of these ones before. So, they're new to me... and to rocco, even techgoddes?
Active Ink Slinger
