Things To Do In The Bedroom To Ruin The Mood (ABC Style)

Unscrew the bolts on the bed

View reruns of Gilligan's Island

Wonder aloud about the decor

Xylomance the future from the bedpost.

Yack, yack, yack

Zoom in on her birth mark

All about ME!

Be sleeping... not good, nonono, not good!

cough, cough... "Couple a packs a day, why? cough, cough, cough...

Decorate her naughty bits instead of fucking them

Explain that you have to wear a nappy/diaper in bed because you are incontinent.

Forget your own name

Grab a pogo stick start hopping

Hanker down on one knee and pray it works out better this time, without the screams and such

Irrigate your colon in bed.

Just ignore your partner.

Kibitz

List your former loves

Make Mister Bean noises as you touch your partner.

Note down things for the critique afterwards

Orgasm after ten seconds

Pee in the plant pot

Quaintly inquire if those tattoos will come off with a good strong scrubbing?

Rats watching

Summon the devil

Quote by Pogbie

Summon the devil

No way! Those are the best!

Tear the condom open, too.

Ulcers burst

Vacuum the carpet.

Wipe ya cock on the curtains ( I do apologize)

Xylophone rendition of Lawrence Welk's Greatest Hits.