Tough times at work

13 Feb 2009

Dear Employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help after Forced Termination). Persons who have been and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Management.

13 Feb 2009

LMFAO!!!

13 Feb 2009

Butt, butt, I am management/owner.

Very good Chef.

Bat

16 Feb 2009

Thanks sweetie.

16 Feb 2009

Ja, ja! This one wa superb:
"Persons selected to be can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help after Forced Termination)."

And I'm scared because I fall within the 50 rank age. This way I was selected, and then... the SHAFT... I suppose.