A prosperous business man propositioned a beautiful girl to spend the night with him. She agreed to do so for $500. When he was ready to leave in the morning, he told her that he didn't have any money with him but that he would have his secretary write a check for it and make it out as "rent for an apartment."
On the way to the office, he decided that the whole thing wasn't worth the price he had agreed to pay. So he advised his secretary to send the check for $250 and include the following note:
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Dear madam:
Enclosed is my check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount I agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression:
1. That it had never been occupied.
2. That there was plenty of heat.
3. That it was small.
Last night, I found that it had been occupied, there wasn't any heat and it was entirely too large.
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Upon the receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check with the following note:
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Dear sir:
I am returning your check for $250. I can not understand how you could expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied. As for the heat, there was plenty of it, if you knew how to turn it on. As for the size, it isn't my fault if you didn't have sufficient furniture to fill it.
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Harry and his wife are having hard times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."
She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says "Shit. All I've got is thirty." She says, "Hold on." She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty dollars?" Harry says, "A handjob". She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a huge penis. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back around the corner and says, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy bucks?"
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Ok, I once read first one is Spanish. The second one is a classic.
