"Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Take seven lemons and
squeeze them into a glass and then drink it."
The young woman asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The priest said "NO, but it will wipe the smile off of your face."
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Patient: Doctor I'm having trouble having sex with my wife. When I get close enough to her, I get nauseous. When I insert, even an inch or two, I get sick to my stomach.
Doctor: Hmmmm, that does sound serious. Let me see it.
Patient sticks out his tongue...
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A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient. "Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the voices are coming from?" asked the psychiatrist. "As a matter of fact, I do," said the patient. "And when does this happen?" asked the psychiatrist. "Oh," said the patient, "when I answer the telephone."
