The Four Cats
Four men were bragging about how smart
their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat,
'T-square, do your stuff.'
T-square pranced over to the desk,
took out some paper and pen and promptly
drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said,
'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned
with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good!
But the Chemist said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said,
'Measure, do your stuff.'
Measure got up, walked to the fridge,
took out a quart of milk,
got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard
and poured exactly 8 ounces
without spilling a drop more into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the
Government Employee and said,
'What can your cat do?'
The Government Employee called his cat and said,
'Coffee Break, do your stuff.'
Coffee Break jumped to his feet.......
ate the cookies..... ..
drank the milk.......
shitted on the paper.......
screwed the other three cats.......
claimed he injured his back while doing so.......
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.. .....
put in for Workers' Compensation. ......... .....and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO
WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!
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Why everyone wants to work for Government...
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Active Ink Slinger
This was supposed to be a secret.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by mercianknight
This was supposed to be a secret.
Well, the secret is out now! Sad thing though,
IT'S THE TRUTH!
Coffee break! 
Active Ink Slinger
Seems that truth is all over the world.
Active Ink Slinger
actually.. I am a government worker.. and you left out the part about having automatic deposit of my checks.. I don't even have to go into the office.. but I would appreciate it if you all would pay your taxes on time this year.. I'm due for a big raise...
