Worst line ever written?

I thought this is funny.

Have any better ones?

(No slagging off people on here you don't like! lol)

I laughed chocolate milk all over the page when I first read this

Katsuro moaned as a bulge formed beneath the material of his kimono, a bulge that Miyuki seized, kneaded, massaged, squashed and crushed. With the fondling, Katsuro’s penis and testicles became one single mound that rolled around beneath the grip of her hand. Miyuki felt as though she was manipulating a small monkey that was curling up its paws.”

The Office Of Garden And Ponds - Didier Decoin

Quote by CallmeJayne

Katsuro moaned as a bulge formed beneath the material of his kimono, a bulge that Miyuki seized, kneaded, massaged, squashed and crushed. With the fondling, Katsuro’s penis and testicles became one single mound that rolled around beneath the grip of her hand. Miyuki felt as though she was manipulating a small monkey that was curling up its paws.”

The Office Of Garden And Ponds - Didier Decoin

OMG that is hilarious!

I share the same sentiment as Nicola….anything I would put put forward would only be diminished in the shadow of CallmeJane’s submission. I am killing myself laughing.

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/bad-sex-awards-fiction-worst-best-ever-shortlist-winners-best-literary-review-morrissey-a8664331.html

Further examples of bad sex writing (in the opinion of The Literary Review) from otherwise well received novels.

CJ, if you ever have time I’d love to sit on the porch and talk. You obviously have a wonderful sense of humor and probably as smart as a whip as well.

Quote by Icarus4

CJ, if you ever have time I’d love to sit on the porch and talk. You obviously have a wonderful sense of humor and probably as smart as a whip as well.

What do you mean - probably?

Quote by CallmeJayne

Quote by Icarus4

CJ, if you ever have time I’d love to sit on the porch and talk. You obviously have a wonderful sense of humor and probably as smart as a whip as well.

What do you mean - probably?

That was my first thought, too

I know it's been pointed out many times, but the first line of "The Da Vinci Code" is so inept it's funny:

"Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum's Grand Gallery."

Some other classic Dan Brown sentences can be found here:

Dan Brown's 20 Worst Sentences - Oh No They Didn't! — LiveJournal

Ooooh Dan Brown. Can I can I?

https://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/77702565.html