Now, that said, a lot of things slow us down. One of them is formatting a story into proper paragraphs - having a wall of verse makes it very hard to do our job, and it makes it frustrating to read - sometimes, given the time, we'll fix it, but usually, we'll just send it back without even reading it. So you know what I'm talking about, I'm posting two examples of the same story, one formatted properly, the other improperly:
The Correct way:
She turned, her smile radiant, lowering her sunglass, her eyes as I had imagined them, cut emeralds touched by starlight.
“All for the love of a woman. Was it worth it, I wonder?”
I met her eyes, feeling suddenly bold, sharing a teasing smile with her, suddenly afraid of disappointing her with my sentiments.
“In a word, yes. There are women who deserve nothing less.”
Her eyes disappeared once more, hidden behind smoky dark lenses, her blood red smile burning itself into my retinas. I watched her go, helpless to do otherwise, hypnotized by the gentle sway of her lips, undone by the sultry smile she cast over her shoulder before abandoning me to my mundane surroundings; Michelangelo and his peers greatest works of art.
I spent the rest of the day in a distracted haze, remembering nothing beyond the glimpse of her emerald gaze, silently reaffirming my words; There were women who deserved nothing less than the destruction of entire civilizations.
That night, I took up my ritual once again, the image of her eyes etched in my memory, her unvoiced sentiments echoing in my head; Would you have burned a city for me?
That night I dreamt of Paris in flames the color of her cascading tresses
Note how spoken dialogue has is separated from the body of the work and has it's own paragraph.
Now, incorrectly done:
She turned, her smile radiant, lowering her sunglasses, her eyes as I had imagined them, cut emeralds touched by starlight. “All for the love of a woman. Was it worth it, I wonder?” I met her eyes, feeling suddenly bold, sharing a teasing smile with her, suddenly afraid of disappointing her with my sentiments. “In a word, yes. There are women who deserve nothing less.” Her eyes disappeared once more, hidden behind smoky dark lenses, her blood red smile burning itself into my retinas. I watched her go, helpless to do otherwise, hypnotized by the gentle sway of her lips, undone by the sultry smile she cast over her shoulder before abandoning me to my mundane surroundings; Michelangelo and his peers greatest works of art. I spent the rest of the day in a distracted haze, remembering nothing beyond the glimpse of her emerald gaze, silently reaffirming my words; There were women who deserved nothing less than the destruction of entire civilizations. That night, I took up my ritual once again, the image of her eyes etched in my memory, her unvoiced sentiments echoing in my head; Would you have burned a city for me? That night I dreamt of Paris in flames the color of her cascading tresses.
Just a little time and effort and TLC is all it takes, and your stories are worth it! (also, some of us mods are starting to go blind, so please, help us out here). thank you very much - love you all!
