Please can any one edit and proofread my story. I wrote a story, but it needs someones help to clean up my grammar.
Gretchen, welcome to Lush. Your best plan for editing your story--if it's the piece already posted in this thread--is to submit it to the site, so that a story moderator/verifier can review the piece. It will likely be rejected if submitted as-is, but our moderator/verifier team will include a note with regards to what needs to be cleaned up (spacing, grammar, spelling, etc.).
You might also want to be reading other authors, to get a sense of pacing and what not to do, as well as what to do. One glaringly obvious thing is the listing of "stats"--your first line, describing your protagonist in numbers, instead of words. Allow the reader to develop a sense of the characters' appearances using words, not numbers. The Old Man and The Sea did not begin with an exacting detailing of the height of the protagonist, or the fathom depth of the sea. Nor did Hemingway ever give those numbers--they were not necessary to the story itself.
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!