Welcome Guest Search | Active Topics | Members | Log In | Register

Is intelligence intimidating? Options · View
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 1:19:39 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde
Moderator

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,618
Location: Your dirty fantasy
However you qualify intelligence, whether it's by IQ, social intelligence, writing/communication ability or book smarts, would a woman that is more intelligent than you be seen as intimidating or attractive.

Think of the popular female images of Jessica Simpson acting like the dumb blonde, or Marilyn Monroe's sexualized little girl act, or all the giggly, pillow-fighting, "omg, I'm just a girl" hair-twirling ideal of the Playboy empire and the porn industry (in general).

Does intelligence scare or intimidate men?

Try to answer this question honestly, because I think it's easy to say "I like a smart woman," but the reality is that society often shows that we are at our most attractive when we're being cute, giggly, helpless, and girly.

Is it just a part of the caveman ideal of being the "protector and provider" or is there a feeling that a very intelligent woman would be emasculating to a guy in some way?

Ladies, feel free to respond if you have any thoughts/opinions on this topic... icon_smile


easy_rider75
Posted: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 1:22:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/29/2011
Posts: 437
Location: Playing with knives , United States
Easy to answer there no it doesn't scare me. Sure somethings I may not get myself depending on the topic but yeah I do like a girl that can hold her own that way.

“I'm not one of those complicated, mixed-up cats. I'm not looking for the secret to life.... I just go on from day to day, taking what comes.”~Frank Sinatra~
lafayettemister
Posted: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 1:32:49 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,447
Location: Alabama, United States
In short, no. Wait... I just re-read the question. For some men the answer would clearly be yes. I like being with an intelligent woman. Not being able to have an intelligent conversation is the death of a relationship. I don't find that intelligent women are more or less likely to be emasculating. Often people who are ignorant are usually the most belligerent and less able to hear opposing viewpoints. Debate is lost on the ignorant so they choose to be unmoving in their views. Same goes for men, most of the controlling a-holes are the dumbasses. I know plenty highly intelligent women who are very caring and nurturing partners. Not emasculating.

As far as "protector and provider".. that's part of our genetics. Moreso the protector part. I'm not possessive or jealous, not even slightly. But if my lady friend is being confronted or in a dangerous situation, I'd jump in without hesitation.

Anyway, for me intelligence is a turn on. No doubt about it.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
SweetPenny
Posted: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 1:37:48 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 1,274
Location: State of Confusion
I had a guy break up with me once because "I feel like an idiot around you and you must not respect me much." He was about 8 years older than me and was actually a student of mine (shh!), so I guess I did intimidate him a bit. I didn't really mind the break-up. He was just a play thing. And he wasn't smart enough for me evil4
lafayettemister
Posted: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 1:38:25 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,447
Location: Alabama, United States
SweetPenny wrote:
I had a guy break up with me once because "I feel like an idiot around you and you must not respect me much." He was about 8 years older than me and was actually a student of mine (shh!), so I guess I did intimidate him a bit. I didn't really mind the break-up. He was just a play thing. And he wasn't smart enough for me evil4


You promised not to tell!





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Magical_felix
Posted: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 1:57:29 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 5,480
Location: California
For me intelligence is way attractive. I love a woman that has an opinion that doesn't make you roll your eyes or can make me laugh. Women can be beautiful regardless of their brain power but a woman that can hold your attention with things other than sex is worth chasing.

I like having sex with hot women I love having sex and then hanging out with intelligent women. Intelligent women will pick up on your kinks without you telling them, that's sexy.

Men who are intimidated by smart women are probably intimidated by most women anyway. Chumps.




Jacknife
Posted: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 3:23:30 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/27/2008
Posts: 197
Location: United Kingdom
Easy. Intelligence is very attractive. No matter what anyone says you can't have sex constantly. People really need some conversation just to pass the time. Sure you can talk about random crap, but it is much more fun and insightful if it is intelligent.

I've never understood why some of my gender prefer stupid women, but I admit it happens. With your example of Jessica Simpson or Marylin Monroe, if we put a Nobel prize winners brain inside them would this make them any less sexy or attractive?

Of course it wouldn't.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 3:57:47 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,782
I don't think you are going to get a lot of guys out here admitting that they are intimidated by more intelligent women. But you are right. Many of them are.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 8:02:35 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,782
In my relationships intelligences is a must. I want to have a great debate and I want to strive to be better. So when my lady is intelligent I will read more learn more and continue to grow myself to keep the debate alive. I just don't see what it is in our society that rewards and glorifies the helpless little girl status. It make us all look dumb as people. We need to encourage people to be smart and motivated to learn.
BicycleBum
Posted: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 10:04:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/1/2010
Posts: 633
No, it's preferred.
sprite
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 2:07:43 AM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Moderator

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 16,884
Location: My Tower, United States
i discovered at an early age that being cute and girly and kind of silly and not overly bright could be a survival method of sorts, and it's pretty easy to fall into that persona even know - not that i'm the brightest candle in the church, but certainly, i've got some smarts - that said, it's easy to bury it, and i find that a lot of guys are more attracted to the sexy, silly, not overtly smart me then are to the more introspective, thoughtful, opinionated me. just my observation.

Live, love, laugh.
stephanie
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 6:26:08 AM

Rank: Bohemian

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 5,428
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland
sprite wrote:
- not that i'm the brightest candle in the church....


I'm soooooooo using/stealing this phrase!!!!!!!

xx S

"Unruly girls, who will not settle down, MUST be taken in hand" (Barbarism Begins At Home - The Smiths) xx SF
Dudealicious
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 8:14:30 AM

Rank: Wise Ass
Moderator

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,529
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
Ahhhh Doll another thread another "debate"

No intelligence does not intimidate me at all and much like Felix said it is very attractive. I can not stand a woman that twirls her hair and giggles to get by, that to me is not what I look for in a woman. I like a strong minded individual who can hold her own but also has a little of a 'girly' side to her. The hair twisting giggly girl is not for me or my lifestyle, if I had one my business functions would be an absolute mess! Yes those women serve a purpose in life but just not for me, I want (need) a woman who is very intelligent and independant, one who can challenge me through 'pillow talk' and hold her own in front of others.

Intelligence is really a turn on for me, not intimidating at all.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

thepainter
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 8:29:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 1,353
Location: hell, Netherlands
Hmm, let's put some heat in this topic:
Good thing I rarely meet women more intelligent than I am. evil4

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
LadyX
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 9:18:35 AM

Rank: Artistic Tart
Moderator

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,813
sprite wrote:
i discovered at an early age that being cute and girly and kind of silly and not overly bright could be a survival method of sorts, and it's pretty easy to fall into that persona even know - not that i'm the brightest candle in the church, but certainly, i've got some smarts - that said, it's easy to bury it, and i find that a lot of guys are more attracted to the sexy, silly, not overtly smart me then are to the more introspective, thoughtful, opinionated me. just my observation.


That's so true. I buried it for a long time, because there's nothing about being a brainiac that would have helped me survive in my environment. The opposite is true:

"Okay miss educated, miss better the me, tell me some smart shit."

Its still something I practice sometimes, depending on where I am and who is around me. I'm less inclined to always do it now, since some people really do appreciate intelligence.

Sprite's right, though. Some guys- lots of guys- do not. Some mistake a sharp wit for being a bitch (which might also be true of me, but that's a different subject). Some feel like they're being shown up simply by framing an intelligent discussion at all. Some would just rather us giggle our way through conversations and just generally be agreeable; its certainly less challenging for guys that way.

I can't do 'giggle-girl'. I can't pull that off at all, but there is more than one way to dumb it down.

The guys that appreciate intelligence- and not just the lip-service that all guys pay so that they don't seem like chauvinistic assholes, I mean the ones that truly admire and are attracted to it- aren't that common in my experience, and unfortunately aren't always the one's I'm attracted to. A couple of recent ones come to mind, and I have hopes for another, but I've learned not to hope too hard. In exchange for that, I know how to get by just fine without it.
My 2 cents


Dudealicious
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 9:46:59 AM

Rank: Wise Ass
Moderator

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,529
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
LadyX wrote:
The guys that appreciate intelligence- and not just the lip-service that all guys pay so that they don't seem like chauvinistic assholes, I mean the ones that truly admire and are attracted to it- aren't that common in my experience, and unfortunately aren't always the one's I'm attracted to. A couple of recent ones come to mind, and I have hopes for another, but I've learned not to hope too hard. In exchange for that, I know how to get by just fine without it.
My 2 cents




Xuani I am sorry that you haven't found a man yet that appreciates your intelligence that you are attracted to. I have read a lot of your posts and am drawn to you because of your intelligence. A woman who giggles through a conversation usually is met with me rolling my eyes and a sigh. Those girls have a place in the world but are just not my type.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I am your type either, but just wanted to chime in to let you know there are men out there that crave more than a giggle and the occasional hair twirl.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

She
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 10:29:31 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 2,547
Location: Europe
Dancing_Doll wrote:

Does intelligence scare or intimidate men?

Try to answer this question honestly, because I think it's easy to say "I like a smart woman," but the reality is that society often shows that we are at our most attractive when we're being cute, giggly, helpless, and girly.

Is it just a part of the caveman ideal of being the "protector and provider" or is there a feeling that a very intelligent woman would be emasculating to a guy in some way?

Ladies, feel free to respond if you have any thoughts/opinions on this topic... icon_smile


I don't think it scares/intimidate them, but sometimes it can bore them to death.
I see it like this form observing guys that I am hanging out with and they are all educated and their IQ is above average -- Some above inteligent women can be quite, lets say,not fun to be around with, they are always up for debate, always proving their right, always in their faces. I am not saying that women should dumb theirselfs, but... Lets say it is friday night, we are all behinde table, drinking before clubbing, it is fun time after rough and bussy week, and discussion for guys is not a priority, not for my friends anyway. So maybe when they are showing some reluctance it is not because they are intimidated by us (I am talking about my above average guy friends) but because 'we' annoy them and bore them to death.
It is called time and place for every situation and sometimes women just cannot figure that out.
And IQ it is not shown only when debate is on or even 'wining' one, it can be very unatractive for always prooving right.
My two cents.

She
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 10:29:33 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 2,547
Location: Europe
*double post

carmen_has36
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 10:38:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/22/2011
Posts: 275
Location: United States
short answer: YES they are.

long answer? agree with Sprite.
lafayettemister
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 10:54:40 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,447
Location: Alabama, United States
I don't have a problem with intelligent women. Or men for that matter. However, I do have a problem with intelligent people that INSIST on proving their superior intelligence. We've all known people who choose to interject themselves and their intellect into every conversation and situation. People who love the sound of their own voice.

I would think that not all that long ago in our history, the place of a wife was to be seen and not heard. An intelligent woman was to be put in her place by her "superior" husband. Things have changed and women have evolved into being more visible in our lives. Fifty years ago most women were either a housewife, secretary, teacher, or nurse.... very stereotypically speaking. Now women are CEO's, politicians, doctors, coaches, the list goes on and on. I find it interesting however, that men seem to be seen as less evolved over the last 50 years. That we are unable to accept intelligent women.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 11:02:52 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,782

[/quote]


Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I am your type either, but just wanted to chime in to let you know there are men out there that crave more than a giggle and the occasional hair twirl.[/quote]

*batting my eyelashes and twirling my hair* Tee hee Dude you are SO funny! And smart! And super duper sexy!!!
overmykneenow
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 11:53:36 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,267
Location: United Kingdom
Only if you use it to intimidate - even unknowingly

Intelligence is like any other attribute: physical strength, charm, presence - if you have more than someone else and you use that to demean or take an advantage then yes, it is intimidating

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
LadyX
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 1:35:10 PM

Rank: Artistic Tart
Moderator

Joined: 9/25/2009
Posts: 4,813
Weezer is not intimidated by smart girls Whistle

Guest
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 1:58:09 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,782
I find an intelligent women very sexy. That she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch is awesome, but when she's done, can we sit and have a real conversation. Plus intelligent women have an imagination as well. They think of things guys don't think of. Does she use it to show off and act superior to other people or can she have a real conversation with people. The largest sex organ is the brain!!!
stephanie
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 5:45:32 PM

Rank: Bohemian

Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 5,428
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland

Intelligence is ESSENTIAL in a partner if you yourself are intelligent... After the initial attraction thing, (which is often about the fact that she's smart) it's about getting to know each other, sharing interests, agreeing, disagreeing, comparing experiences, arguing about issues, appreciating stuff you listen to or go and see, talking about things that matter, laughing about things that don't matter...

Clever is sexy if you dig clever....

Some people don't, and they're not wrong if they're happy BUT....

I could maybe share Paris Hilton's bed for two days.... And to be honest, I'm a guy, I think we'd both enjoy it it.... But by the third day I'd be sprinting towards the Exit door.... (Sorry, Paris....)

Seriously, I'm not dumb BUT I've gone out with girls who are a lot smarter than me... I LOVE it!!!! And nobody is clever when they're panting and saying "Don't Stop!!!"

My current Girl is a magazine editor who's just got an advance for her novel... I was attracted to her first 'cos she looks like Dita Von Teese.... Is that intimidating? Well, YES a tiny bit.... But I'd be a lot more intimidated by her if she weren't sleeping in my bed and laughing at my jokes.....

xx S



"Unruly girls, who will not settle down, MUST be taken in hand" (Barbarism Begins At Home - The Smiths) xx SF
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 6:22:11 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,782
I would hope intelligence would be no more intimidating to men than it is to women. I'm not sure I understand the point of the question.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 9:43:42 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,782
Intriguing, yes, intimidating, no.
Solarmeatman
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 10:18:13 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/20/2010
Posts: 30
Location: San Diego, United States
I find intelligence very sexy. If I can not learn and grow from the person I am with, then I will not be with them very long. Intelligence is having an opinion, and being able to defend it logically....at least for me...I am very logical and respect and admire that trait in people...especially women. Intelligence is like a drug that I love to share...nothing better than great communication and respect...all part of what I consider intelligence.

Solarmeatman
Guest
Posted: Friday, February 25, 2011 12:31:23 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,782
Smart: intriguing, Intelligent: sexy, smarter and more intelligent than myself: ridiculously sexily intriguing. Without getting into it too much, and at risk of being cliche, we all know the most powerful sexual organ in the human body is the brain. If a woman can stimulate you intellectually, or if the converse it true, then the physical aspect is sure to follow. Can smart, motivated women who know what they want come off as imposing/intimidating? Damn right. But who would want it any other way?
Guest
Posted: Friday, February 25, 2011 4:28:48 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 675,782
Not so much intimidating; more so attractive. After all, what is all this other than mind games?
Users browsing this topic
Guest 


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS

Powered by Yet Another Forum.net version 1.9.1.6 (NET v4.0) - 11/14/2007
Copyright © 2003-2006 Yet Another Forum.net. All rights reserved.