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Grace
Over 90 days ago
Lesbian Cis Female, 75
United States
Forum
Force of Nature
Quote by nicola
He slacks off occasionally (when fishing), but other than that, I really couldn't ask for more from this month's winner of the M.O.T.M. award.
In fact he should have more time off chilling out by the river.
Hopefully he spends his $100 prize on some tackle and a few light ales.
Congratulations SimplyJohn. You are simply fantastic with the help desk and chat rooms.
you failed to mention that john is a handsome devil.
Force of Nature
Quote by RumpleForeskin
Over the weekend, my wife love and best friend for half a century, left us softly, in her sleep, after a five year struggle with dementia.
if anyone tells you you'll be all right they lie. you may borrow my bat.
if it's any comfort you may rest on my boobs and i'll cry with you.
Force of Nature
Quote by sprite
Evie asked me to write a vampire biker story for her, or i volunteered to do it, anyway. i have never actually written a vampire story before, but i think i'm doing ok for now. vampires are the ones that get hairy when the moon is full, right...?
no, that's me.
need bertha.
Force of Nature
Quote by kkikkiriccio
I have some more in the works, but I don't have much time to edit and they might be slow coming, but... since I'm sure you all enjoyed my first two, here's the third:
Afternoon Tea
there's just no stopping you! keep at it.
Force of Nature
i wasn't sure whether to play this kenny rogers song by the first edition from 1967 or a very recent live performance by tom jones, but in the end i decided you can't go wrong with a little willie.
might i prevail upon someone to intercede with bb n my behalf to obtain a coffee, cream, no sugar?
might i prevail upon someone to intercede with bb n my behalf to obtain a coffee, cream, no sugar?
Force of Nature
three wishes
i was drinking in the back bar of my local, chatting to the barmaid, when a man came in and sat at the middle bar, accompanied by an ostrich and a grey persian cat. the barmaid asked what they wanted. the ostrich asked for a pint of guinness and the man wanted a large whiskey. the cat said, "i'll have a pint of lager but i ain't fucking paying for it." "and one for yourself," said the man. "that will be 5 pounds 14," said the barmaid, and the man pulled some money from his pocket and set it on the bar. the barmaid counted it out, 5 pounds 14 exactly. later the man asked the landlord for a round. a guinness, a large scotch and "a pint of lager but i ain't fucking paying for it." "and whatever you are drinking, sir." "thank you, i'll have a large bells. that will be 6 pounds 45." the man took some money from his pocket and set it on the bar, unchecked. the landlord picked it up, 6 pounds 45. suddenly a cheer came from the main bar. arsenal had won an important game in europe. "landlord, drinks for the house are on me." even above the commotion i heard, "but i ain't fucking paying for it." the tally came to 48 pounds 20, and the man placed 48 pounds 20 unchecked on the bar. when the hubbub had died down i moved next to the man and asked did he mind if i enquired about the trick with the exact money. this was his story.
"a couple of years ago i was cleaning out an attic when i found a dusty, tarnished old lamp. i rubbed it with the sleeve of my sweater to see if it was worth restoring when a plume of mist emerged from the spout and coalesced into a genie, just like the ones from my books as a kid. i was startled, but not frightened. the genie told me i could have three wishes, but to think about them carefully. the first thing i asked for was an aston martin dbs vantage. it had to be legally mine. the genie told me it would take a few days to arrive, but it was mine. i thought hard about the second wish, because it had to be practical and future proof as much as possible. i wanted to be able to reach into my pocket and pull out exactly what i needed to pay for what i was buying. so far that has worked perfectly. cash, cashier's cheques, one use credit cards, whatever i need to buy anything from an ice lolly to a house. for my third wish, alas, i must have taken complete leave of my senses. sorry, miss, i'm not usually a vulgar asshole, but i'm paying for it. i asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy."
i was drinking in the back bar of my local, chatting to the barmaid, when a man came in and sat at the middle bar, accompanied by an ostrich and a grey persian cat. the barmaid asked what they wanted. the ostrich asked for a pint of guinness and the man wanted a large whiskey. the cat said, "i'll have a pint of lager but i ain't fucking paying for it." "and one for yourself," said the man. "that will be 5 pounds 14," said the barmaid, and the man pulled some money from his pocket and set it on the bar. the barmaid counted it out, 5 pounds 14 exactly. later the man asked the landlord for a round. a guinness, a large scotch and "a pint of lager but i ain't fucking paying for it." "and whatever you are drinking, sir." "thank you, i'll have a large bells. that will be 6 pounds 45." the man took some money from his pocket and set it on the bar, unchecked. the landlord picked it up, 6 pounds 45. suddenly a cheer came from the main bar. arsenal had won an important game in europe. "landlord, drinks for the house are on me." even above the commotion i heard, "but i ain't fucking paying for it." the tally came to 48 pounds 20, and the man placed 48 pounds 20 unchecked on the bar. when the hubbub had died down i moved next to the man and asked did he mind if i enquired about the trick with the exact money. this was his story.
"a couple of years ago i was cleaning out an attic when i found a dusty, tarnished old lamp. i rubbed it with the sleeve of my sweater to see if it was worth restoring when a plume of mist emerged from the spout and coalesced into a genie, just like the ones from my books as a kid. i was startled, but not frightened. the genie told me i could have three wishes, but to think about them carefully. the first thing i asked for was an aston martin dbs vantage. it had to be legally mine. the genie told me it would take a few days to arrive, but it was mine. i thought hard about the second wish, because it had to be practical and future proof as much as possible. i wanted to be able to reach into my pocket and pull out exactly what i needed to pay for what i was buying. so far that has worked perfectly. cash, cashier's cheques, one use credit cards, whatever i need to buy anything from an ice lolly to a house. for my third wish, alas, i must have taken complete leave of my senses. sorry, miss, i'm not usually a vulgar asshole, but i'm paying for it. i asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy."