Yup. Pretty sure I saw Hannah's bra on the doorknob.
Milik, I'm Jennifer. Period, full stop. Not Hera. I mean, HT is my screen name, but if you're a friend, you call me Jennifer.
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HeraTeleia
Over 90 days ago
Straight Cis Female
Canada
Forum
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Sigh, toss blanket over her, retrieve the Leatherman tool from my top left bureau drawer, remove restraints, go to kitchen to put tea on to boil.
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Quote by TonyaL
Taking a cue from the awesome Jen I have added to my signature two stories I enjoyed and will change them up often.
I took my cue from the divine Ms. Burquette, after she whored out my "Beribboned and Bowed" quietly for over a month (I think I didn't notice until she'd had it in her sig line for a solid week), so I can't claim credit for the idea.
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Sure, I love cuddling after sex. You stay in bed, I'm going to go put on the kettle for tea and cuddle with Norman and Lily.
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If a woman has sex with you on a first date, and then doesn't return your calls/texts/ messages, then no, she's not girlfriend material. Sorry.
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My favourite midnight/staggering out to the kitchen snack? Cold fried tofu dipped in Sriracha roasted garlic barbecue sauce, usually accompanied by dilute orange juice or sweet tea.
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Quote by Emerson501
Popcorn's a poppin everyone. Jen, if the umbrellas don't work as pasties, I'm sure I can make some out of a popcorn bag. And if you need a hand, I can help put them on too. I'm neighborly like that. Regaeman Man
Such a gentleman. Rachel was asleep, Hannah was doing something, probably Mike, in the stockroom, so I showered (at least, rinsed myself down with the hose attachment at what passes for a dish sink here) and dressed again. Sigh.
True story: I saw Nirvana, live, multiple times before they dropped their second album, "Nevermind", mostly because my best friend was really into trying to sneak into places we shouldn't have been, and then of course Nirvana also played lots of small all-ages venues, like RCKNDY, before "Nevermind" was released. Krist Novoselic is literally one of the kindest, and one of the most thoughtful, men on the planet; I met him first in 1994 or 1993 on the steps of the Washington State Capitol. He lives in Wahkiakum now, but we still cross paths, now politically, on occasion and he's always addressed me immediately by name.
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Quote by sprite
talk about over the top! i mean, really, bullet holes in the wall, the mattress and carpet ruined. i would never over-react like this (braining him with a baseball bat and then dragging him out the back door and depositing him in the garden isn't over-reacting, right?)
I wouldn't miss so badly as to have bullet holes in the wall, Rach, I shoot for centre of mass, I hit centre of mass, not some innocent wall...but blood tends to fly, and stain. Your method seems like so much work...but I don't think it's an over the top reaction at all, given your proficiency with a baseball bat. Plus, the whole "finding a strange man in your bed" thing.
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Quote by Lauradj
Rule #1 of the inter-web: Before calling someone out for bad spelling and grammar, please make sure your own post is perfect.
I love you, Laura, for so many things--but definitely for this post.
Do I fantasise about other beds while in my bed? No, not usually. I love my bed, I don't want to leave her. Now, pillows? Oh, I run through six or eight of those bastards every year. Use them and kick them to the curb. Well, the rubbish bin, because littering is bad.
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catches the Sexy Crown as it flies off the pirouetting ballerina's head
This'll do. Thank you.
This'll do. Thank you.
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Quote by Regnadkcin
I thought all women wanted chocolate.
If you wanted a three way, you could get chocolate and pistachio.
Neopolitan works for me.
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Do I like to masturbate? Sure, when I have the time and space. Which isn't often.
What techniques do I use? If I'm pressed for time, Sliquid hybrid lubricant and my Lelo Siri and direct clitoral stimulation. If not pressed for time, my fingers and lubricant and teasing and eventually edging with the Siri.
What techniques do I use? If I'm pressed for time, Sliquid hybrid lubricant and my Lelo Siri and direct clitoral stimulation. If not pressed for time, my fingers and lubricant and teasing and eventually edging with the Siri.
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Dammit...I'm naked and dripping in oil...where's Rachel at?
*grabbing a handful of little umbrellas* I wonder if these could be modified to work as pasties?
Serious side note: Of the five Awesome Award awardees, including myself, four (MostPreciousLittle, Buz, Bill, and myself) are Rump Regulars. And Alan, may he RIP, probably would've been (or maybe he was?). It should also be noted Her Royal Spriteness, our pole-dancing bunny-ear wearing Ms. Rachel, was awarded the most prestigious Her Royal Awesomeness badge after becoming a RR.
Takeaway? THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME BAR ON THE INTERWEBZ.
*grabbing a handful of little umbrellas* I wonder if these could be modified to work as pasties?
Serious side note: Of the five Awesome Award awardees, including myself, four (MostPreciousLittle, Buz, Bill, and myself) are Rump Regulars. And Alan, may he RIP, probably would've been (or maybe he was?). It should also be noted Her Royal Spriteness, our pole-dancing bunny-ear wearing Ms. Rachel, was awarded the most prestigious Her Royal Awesomeness badge after becoming a RR.
Takeaway? THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME BAR ON THE INTERWEBZ.
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Quote by browncoffee
Jen i'm tagging you in. rach is, ah, energetic and I'm exhausted. phil, get me a hannah would you?
*sighs, begins unbuttoning blouse*
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I've fantasised about eating ice cream instead of laying back and thinking of England, does that count?
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Wait, how did we go from me saying how wonderful Jeff and Ms. V.'s new story is to turning the bar into a Fight Club? Dammit...I leave for a second...
Not to say that I'm opposed to some naked kitty wrestling...just don't think it'd be nearly as adorable with me in the mix.
Not to say that I'm opposed to some naked kitty wrestling...just don't think it'd be nearly as adorable with me in the mix.
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*softly coughing* Ms. V., Jeff, everyone, may I please ask you to direct your attention to my newly modified sig line? Thank you. Going forward, I'll just be randomly adding a link to a story--written by someone(s) not myself--every couple of weeks or so.
Also, and I am so Canadian that I am blushing as I type, may I invite any Rump Regular who is not currently on my friends list to send a FR? I am rather pathologically shy about sending them out myself, and I believe the total number of FR's I've ever sent out numbers less than ten.
Please do not take my lack of a FR as a lack of admiration, and as I do not follow authors, it helps considerably to be able glance at my timeline and see that someone I know to be a good writer and friend has posted a new story.
Standard Canadian disclaimer: I apologise in advance for any offence my invitation may inflict.
And just for fun...
Also, and I am so Canadian that I am blushing as I type, may I invite any Rump Regular who is not currently on my friends list to send a FR? I am rather pathologically shy about sending them out myself, and I believe the total number of FR's I've ever sent out numbers less than ten.
Please do not take my lack of a FR as a lack of admiration, and as I do not follow authors, it helps considerably to be able glance at my timeline and see that someone I know to be a good writer and friend has posted a new story.
Standard Canadian disclaimer: I apologise in advance for any offence my invitation may inflict.
And just for fun...
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Quote by downunder911
Hi,
Now I am utterly surprised about your responses, specially the one threatening with legal actions! You got to be kiddin', right?
Perhaps I should add the following information
1. Have we talked about it? Yes, sort off. She agreed to try out a mmf threesome 'some day'
2. More than once I asked her, during lovemaking, if she could imagine another man going down on her and I never received a NO, always got a '..mmmmm that could/would be nice..'
3. I will be there! I am not leaving her alone, tied up with a stranger. If it gets out of hand or she doesn't enjoy it, I will ask him to stop, or leave, whatever. The stranger also knows that, we discussed 'things' via email. He is aware that it is a surprise for her and we both are aware that we need to wait for her reaction to it. We assume she is going to enjoy it, but we also agreed not to enforce anything and to call it a day in the event that she doesn't like it.
4. She also has a lot of faith in me as far as sexual adventures go. She knows, that I would never do anything to hurt her or that I would immediately stop if she wouldn't enjoy it. We had other adventures, like sex in public were she also trusted me fully.
Does that make a difference to the upcoming event? Do you really think she'll panic as much as the above ladies would? Yes, it will be a surprise, she doesn't know when it is going to happen, nor does she know WHAT will be happening, I mean, that a stranger will be coming into play when she is tied up and unable to resist! Until now, I honestly thought that this will be a great idea to give her that surprise... now, I am surprised about your reactions to it!
cheers
Downunder
"Threatening legal action"? No. I simply said that without express consent, you would be opening yourself to assorted criminal charges--marital is a thing, conspiracy to commit assault is a thing. That's not a threat, that's a statement.
"...panic..."? No. There is no panic involved in relieving an individual who poses a real, imminent threat to my life or safety of his or her ability to carry out that threat. You asked the female community how any given one of us might respond to a "stranger in [my] bed", to paraphrase. I am a member of the female community, and that is my response.
Your most recent post only causes me to reiterate my first post--agreeing in the heat of the moment to "try out a mmf threesome 'some day'..." is definitely not consenting to be bound, blindfolded, and essentially deceived with intent into being the object of another's pleasure.
Additionally, your vague, skipping-through-the-tulips ideas about how you would handle things in the event that things were to "...[get] out of hand..." simply terrifies me, in all honesty. "I will ask him to stop, or leave, or whatever"? You've given your wife's health and safety exactly no thought at all. What if this third individual refuses to "stop, or leave, or whatever"? How, exactly, will you then move to protect your wife and, quite possibly, yourself?
You revealed in your most recent post that you've only communicated with this third party via email, meaning that it is highly unlikely that you have a criminal or health history on this individual, and you most certainly do not know him well enough to trust that he would comply with your request to "stop, or leave, or whatever".
My advice is now to stop communicating with this third individual, think with your brain instead of your balls, and start communicating, in an open and frank manner, with your wife. The latter should be done outside of the heat of the moment, in a neutral setting--not the bedroom.
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Quote by Buz
I definitely like getting a new badge.
Yah...I have to admit, I rather like my badges. Especially the "surprise" ones: the RR, the Competition Top Ten, and the one awarded to me yesterday, which shall go unnamed because I'm entirely too...me? to have accepted yet that I in any way deserved said badge.
Quote by browncoffee
Personally i would not go around follower shopping to get a badge.
Here's my thinking on followers: I've never, ever solicited a follower, I find it rather...odd? that approximately 1/3 of my followers have never reached out and attempted to make any kind of contact, and quite honestly, until recently, I found it a little unnerving that someone would follow me at all. I'm not objecting to the creation of a "Followed" badge, I'm just saying that I can't even begin to understand how one would solicit a follower, or why, and that the idea of having 500 followers doesn't really do anything for me on a personal level.
My views are likely coloured by the fact that I don't consider myself a writer or author or whatever; I'm a mum and a nurse who stumbled upon an avenue through which to bring happiness and pleasure to other people, to perfect strangers. I also don't follow anyone (see "a little unnerving" above) and rely on word-of-mouth and glancing at the Home page and friends' notifications to find stories that I want to read.
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Quote by downunder911
If you also have no experience in this, how would you react if suddenly someone strange licks your pussy?
How would I feel? Slightly irked, because 5-16 bullets delivered to centre of a 75 kg mass at close quarters tend to really mess up the bed linens. And the mattress. And the floor. And the bedroom walls.
In all seriousness, you and your "stranger" friend need to both be very sure that your wife is entirely on board with this idea. Lack of voiced objection is not implied consent, and you, at the very least, could well be brought up on criminal and/or civil charges if your wife is not entirely on board with this whole thing.
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Quote by rumpleforeskin
For starters, what about one of AWSOME Jen's RR's?
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/cheating/the-best-laid-plans.aspx
*blushing* Thank you, Bill, but that's actually Mike's, I think. The collaboration with Hannah? I was just whoring it out.
One of mine: https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/beribboned-and-bowed.aspx
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Quote by Emerson501
Jen, congrats on your new badge. We haven't yet been acquainted, but that's sure to change soon! We only hang out in the same bar, right?
Things To Do Before I Die, By Emerson501:
1. Buy Jen a damn virtual drink.
2. Send Jen a damn friend request
I'd say SSDGM, Emerson, but I know Rachel, and being that I'm 6' when I'm barefoot, which I'm generally not, I live in fear of her driving over and kneecapping me. She'll tiny, stealthy, and oh, drives a blue Ford Ranger. That's not super stealthy...still, run. Now.
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Quote by Lauradj
Jen, congratulations on the awesome award, also, on a side note, what drink do you prescribe for someone who has mono?
Something with no alcohol and no caffeine but with sugar so that it absorbs quickly--your body loves the glucose. I like a hot peppermint tisane (herbal tea) with a big scoop of sugar. Plain peppermint, not some weird mix claiming to be a health tonic.
And I almost missed that it was, you know, you that has mono...I just clicked over to the "what should one take?" question. I'm so sorry, dear, may it pass quickly. Lots of fluids. Try to be urinating every half hour. Unless you're asleep.
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I really do need a drink...and I have one! Nice crisp pear cider. Just finished eight days straight of work, but *ahem* I HAVE TWO ACTUAL CONSECUTIVE DAYS OFF. Now THAT is awesome.
Me, I'm just your average Canadian.
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Me, I'm just your average Canadian.
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Pardon? I don't know if it's how I was raised or some innate sense that my translucently white legs might frighten children or what, but I nearly always wear stockings. The only time I wouldn't is if I'm wearing open toed shoes/heels or sandals, and then...well, how tacky does wearing stockings with open toed shoes/heels or sandals look? Exactly.
And of course I wear tights, all kinds (as the divine Ms. V. already pointed out, the many patterns can accent your outfit and your legs both). I'm wondering if maybe some of the women whom you presume to be going without stockings might actually be wearing a pair of the newer ultra super sheer stockings? I've had my legs mistaken for nude when wearing high end brands like Wolford and when wearing--don't laugh--Nice Touch Lycra Sheer pantyhose, the Sears house brand.
And of course I wear tights, all kinds (as the divine Ms. V. already pointed out, the many patterns can accent your outfit and your legs both). I'm wondering if maybe some of the women whom you presume to be going without stockings might actually be wearing a pair of the newer ultra super sheer stockings? I've had my legs mistaken for nude when wearing high end brands like Wolford and when wearing--don't laugh--Nice Touch Lycra Sheer pantyhose, the Sears house brand.
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Receiver? Ooh, show us a pic of your 80% lower, please? What caliber are you chambering her in? Oh, no, wait. You meant "receive". And here I was getting all excited. Oral sex, okay.
If the question is "Do I like to give oral sex (engage in fellatio or irrumatio) or would I prefer to receive (have my partner performing cunnilingus on me)?" then the answer is, Yes, yes, I love to give perform fellatio, absolutely love it, love the feeling of power and control over my partner's body.
I'm still learning to like receiving cunnilingus. It's not a steep hill, but it's a long hike.
If the question is "Do I like to give oral sex (engage in fellatio or irrumatio) or would I prefer to receive (have my partner performing cunnilingus on me)?" then the answer is, Yes, yes, I love to give perform fellatio, absolutely love it, love the feeling of power and control over my partner's body.
I'm still learning to like receiving cunnilingus. It's not a steep hill, but it's a long hike.