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NymphWriter
2 months ago
Bisexual Female, 56
United States

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Quote by Lucky_lilDragonfly
I confronted the chefs when the guy left the kitchen. I asked them why they didn't help me. They just said something to the fact "Oh he is just like that." So I knew no one would help me or stop him. That is why I left and found a good job at a grocery store.


How sad that they thought that way. I'm glad you were able to find a better job in the long run... though you shouldn't have had to in the first place.
Quote by noll
I don't assume anything, but I try to assess whether she can. And if I think she can I'd rather not get involved, and be the next stranger wanting some of her attention or be the male savior for a woman who can handle the situation herself.


[Edited by Burquette for aggressive italics]

Quote by noll
I have on quite a few occasions. And as far as I can remember in all cases the response was "it's ok" or something similar.


I'm not trying to find excuses to not do it. All I'm saying is that I find it hard to figure out when it's needed.


When in doubt... ask. Perhaps one day the response will be different and the person or rather... the victim... will be grateful you stepped in and said something. I know I would have been in my situation. Try Sprite's suggestion... it's non-threatening and easy to do.
Quote by Lucky_lilDragonfly
#Me Too

I was working as a bus girl when it happened. I was 17 and was the only girl in the back where the kitchen was. I would be loading the dishes in the dishwasher and as I was spraying the food off the dishes it would happen. This bus boy would grab my breasts over my shirt. He would always do it and all the cooks would laugh or just lear. So one day the bus boy went behind me and grabbed my tits I had it I was so pissed that none of the men did a thing to stop him. I turned to face the bus boy and grabbed a butcher knife held it up to him and he ran out of the kitchen so fast! After that I quit who needs a job like that anyway! Sure the manager wanted to know if I was ok but I didn't peruse anything I just left the job.


Sadly, your story isn't unique and too often, women like yourself just "quit" (which I would have done as well had I been in this situation) instead of dong more. I'm not saying what you did was wrong... I'm saying you're not alone.
Quote by noll
In general these situations can be quite hard for bystanders to interpret unless the victim makes it clear that they don't want it. And if so, is that enough or should bystanders get involved anyway? I've been the bystander more than once, and often I try to assess whether the victim is capable of handling it themselves or not (I like to think that most women can handle it themselves). If I'm not sure about it I try to ask, but in many cases I really don't know what the right response should be because as an outsider I don't know the context, like for instance what the relationship is between the people involved.


This is exactly the problem... people assume that victim can handle the situation when the reality is, we might not. People assume that just because the victim doesn't make a scene that what the man does is all right. People assume there is a relationship between the perpetrator and the victim and that makes this action acceptable. I'm not talking a casual brushing, this guy in question grabbed both my breasts with both hands. While in the privacy of a hotel room or a bed room this might be fine, on a dance floor of a club is another story. This man was a total stranger to me, yet he choose to touch me in a sexual manner without my concent.

Of course, back then, it was rare for anyone to say anything, but still... why did this man think he had the right to touch me like that in the first place? The answer is simple, he didn't. He just assumed he could and sadly, his actions weren't condemned by anyone but myself. I chose not to make a scene, instead I just pushed him away from me and left.

Perhaps if someone had gone so far as to ask if everything was all right, it might have made a difference. If more people would just ask a simple question of, "Do you know this man/woman?" or "Did you mind his grabbing you like that?"

Maybe next time you see such an action you can at least say something or ask a simple question. Instead of being a bystander you can be an upstander. Maybe... just maybe... you'll make a difference in the life of the woman being groped.
Hypocritical bitch!

You fucking literally talked over me and excluded me from your conversation. When I confront you about this, only then do you tell me how "disappointed" you are in me. Bitch please! You fucking say how you'd rather have someone come and tell you to your face they don't like you, but God forbid you'd fucking do the same with me. Practice what you fucking preach you bitch... or shut the fuck up! Your choice.
Quote by IAMLOVE


You have no idea how much I needed this gentle reminder. Thank you.
Quote by Belthazor
I'm fortunate enough to not say "me too," but I did see the perfect response.

#Ibelieveyou

Because too often, that's why nothing is done. That's why they get away with it. Because no one wants to believe it's happening.


You are very fortunate... and thank you for sharing the response... it does help.
I didn't quit my job.
I didn't let a rude student interrupt a conversation I was having with some prospective future teachers.
#MeToo

As a child I was molested by a stranger. It rattled me for years. No, it still rattles me.

As an teenager/adult, I had a boss corner me and constantly ask me out on dates. When I finally relented, the date was a bust. However, he never told the truth and instead told everyone I was a sexual freak.

In the Navy, I had a guy grab my breasts on the dance floor in front of a lot of people at the e-club and no one said or did a thing. I never went back. I also rarely went to clubs after that and now, they are just something I try to avoid if I can.
Currently, my dad owns a cabin about an half an hour south (maybe south east) of Yellowstone and has said that if the volcano were to ever to blow, he'd just sit on his front porch and wait to meet Jesus.

As for me, I'm going to choose to live my life and not worry too much about the stuff I have little to no control over. That doesn't mean I'm in denial... just that I'm not going to let fear rule my life.
Hot green tea with honey... and the occasional crushed Sudafed (or generic) tablet added when I've got a damn cold. Eases my symptoms and helps me sleep.
Next time you want to question my teaching practices, fucking talk to me face to face instead of your underhanded, backbiting bullshit of calling out two of my students only and bitching about what I occasionally allow them to do. The only thing worse was how you scoffed when I owned my crimes instead of lying about it. I don't question what you do in your classroom so where do you get off questioning what I do in mine?

Oh yeah... and it's nice to know you trust my judgement as a teacher. Oh wait... you don't. You trust J's. Why don't go fucking go to the principal and tell her you think I suck as a teacher? You say you'd rather have someone tell you to your face what they think about you, then you do what you hate to me by side-stepping what you think are issues with my teaching.

I have read research on brain development and the value of homework. I'm well aware that most students need quite to read. However, I also know that there are some kids who are what are known as auditory learners and they need noise to learn. Just because I recognize this unique quality and you don't doesn't make me a shitty teacher. I does make me different from you.

No, I didn't attend your precious college. No, I didn't get your teacher training. But... I have been teaching for almost 10 years, I attend trainings and conferences that I pay for out of my own pocket, read books, and do research on ways to best help my students. I stay late more days than you do and I do it without extra pay. I am equally frustrated with the bullshit of our district, but I'm tired of you acting like you're so much better than I am at teaching.

Don't fucking tell me how you'd deal with the student I've been struggling to deal with unless you're willing to swap me classes for the next quarter. You have no idea what he's done or what he's triggering within me. And I'll bet you haven't heard the rumor that he's looking to physically fight a teacher before he leaves our school to make himself look like a hero. I hope he leaves before he can accomplish this goal becasue I don't want to be the victim of his violence, nor do I want to see any other teacher in that same situation.

I have come and asked you for advice. I doubt I'll do that any more as I don't feel you can be truly objective anymore. Besides, I don't want to be fodder for your gossip sessions.
To me, it's always been something you know when you taste it, which is why I couldn't vote in the poll.
Quote by noll
That's why we sort our waste for recycling purposes, so it doesn't end up there.


True. I was just offering another solution that would benefit kids. Nothing more.
Due to the recent events in Las Vegas, I will be donating blood and getting myself closer to my 12 gallons later this week. I was going to do this for Puerto Rico, but sadly, Las Vegas is my home and it too needs my love. Maybe my blood donation will in some way also aid PR.

If there's a badge in it for me... great. Please understand... I was going to donate blood this weekend anyway for PR... then this happened.
Quote by DamonX
Quote by Lucky_lilDragonfly
Why is that damonx? Or is it a case of don't ask don't tell?


Which post are you referring to?

The "are you afraid that dicks taste delicious" post? Or are you trying to slip one in under the wire so I wont notice?

Since this is the spa I have to object to your cis-gendering and homophobic implications. I also have to object to you not capitalizing my name...(an obvious micro-aggression that I find insensitive).



Maybe get your master to proof-read your comments before posting next time......


You seriously didn't understand which post she was referencing? My best educated guess would be the one right before her post. In case you're not sure, I'm guessing it's this one...

Quote by DamonX
I'm a little concerned about the effect that this topic might be having on the troops....


Lucky_lilDragonfly is welcome to correct me if I am mistaken.
Quote by trinket
Quote by PhilU
Yeah, but who gets to decide which tweets are worth keeping and which are not? And if we draw the line at "actually making sense", then how much of Trump's correspondence would be worth keeping at all??


My original post said I thought he'd crossed a line by deleting any of them. While it doesn't specify internet/social media posts of any type, I believe the existing law covers it. I don't think he should be allowed to delete anything at all. You and nymphwriter brought up the cofveve tweet so I commented on it.


This is why I said the law you mentioned needs to be updated to address the internet and social media posts so if a sitting president posts something and then deletes it for whatever reason, there is a clear understanding of if this is allowed or not. Then it's clear if as you said Trump or any future president crosses a line by deleting things like tweets over typos or other nonsense.
Quote by trinket
For the purpose of this thread, Does it really matter if he's deleted tweets prior to these? As for "covfefe", why would anyone complain about that being deleted? The tweets he deleted were a record of his political support for someone. Cofveve was not.


My point was simply that the law you referenced needs to be tweaked or adjusted to address exactly what you brought up especially since it was written pre-social media. This way it's clear if a sitting president can delete tweets that have typos, misspellings, or for whatever reason a person chooses to delete their tweets... "covfefe" is just an easy example to reference... that's all.
Quote by PhilU
One thing I don't understand about this whole 'scandal' is... hasn't he already deleted other tweets? For example, when 'covfefe' happened, everyone was surprised that that tweet stayed up on his account for hours before being deleted. Is the difference that people were too busy making covfefe jokes to care?


I agree and had said as much, but that was deleted or edited (or both). The law Trinket was referring to is pre-social media days and maybe needs to be updated to address this either way.
Quote by noll
That's not allowed here anymore since a decade or so I believe. Those rolls were used for all kinds of handicrafts stuff in kindergarten, but as they spend an important part of their lives in lavatories that turned out not be very hygienic.


Maybe where you are at, but not necessarily everywhere. However, if you or anyone you know is freaked out about this, you can donate paper towel rolls (the inner cores) when you finish with those. My suggestion was just that... a suggestion for a possible solution instead of just filling up the landfill with them.
Quote by noll
Can we please all agree that removing the cardboard core (does that have a name?) is just plain wrong?


You can also check with local schools to see if they are in need of these. My school's science department is asking for them for a future science experiment (I'm not sure what as I'm not a science teacher.) This way they are recycled and the cash-strapped school have the supplies they need and you're not spending extra money to help.
Quote by noll
Sounds like a Think Tank post to me, unless the Spa is not also a safe space for Trump followers of course. Which I think it is.

Anyway, I agree.


You're correct in that this topic could very easily fit inside The Think Tank, but Trinket wanted to post it here and she did nothing wrong in doing such. No one has engaged in personal attacks, but rather have calmly voiced his or her opinion about the issues of Trump and deleting his own tweets and the possibility that it might be violating the law.

To be honest, this new format is much nicer at you get more at what people think about the subject with the minutia of snarky attitudes and such.
Quote by trinket
Ouch. What the heck is wrong with you today? You honestly think I'm so stupid that I don't know there are records of his tweets everywhere? Did you even read what I posted? I actually did say that they were "all over the Internet". I am talking about the removal of them from his accounts. Where they were all together. And anyone who might be interested could read all of them together. At the same time. I didn't think there was a need to point that out, I assumed it was understood.

As for blaming the media, I said "sometimes". Sweetie, darling, try to read what I write, not between the lines. There's nothing there. The hug is because we are in the spa. I think we have to kind of love one another in here.


No, Trinket, I don't think you are stupid. Yes, I read what you wrote and I responded to exactly that. I was trying to be polite for two reasons: 1) this is the Spa and I'm trying to respect the rules; and 2) Just becasue I don't agree with you doesn't mean I have to cow down to you either.

You started this thread. You were the one who quoted the 1978 Presidential Records Act, not me. How is what he deleted about this election any different from the legendary "covfefe" tweet? Why didn't you bring this issue up then? I'd bet that if you look closely at his Twitter account (the @therealdonaldtrump one) you see that since he become POTUS there are many tweets he's since deleted. Some might be political and others might just be random thoughts that he's posted about in the past that he decided shortly afterward weren't exactly what he wanted to say... especially since Twitter doesn't allow you to edit once you've posted the way Facebook does. I'm sure he'd argue that it's fine since he's using his "personal" account and not the POTUS or White House Twitter account (both I no longer follow) that it's fine. Mind you, I'm just making an educated guess.

I stand by what I said before... Trump needs to Think Before He Tweets. A lot of issues could be avoided if he would just practice this.
Quote by nicola
Just over one week to go before deadline day.

Remember to get your entries in a day or so before then, otherwise your entry may not get enough votes to qualify.


Fucking writer's block and bullshit at work has kept me from getting my entry done. Oh well, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
Quote by trinket
POTUS is now under fire for deleting a couple of past tweets openly backing Alabama State Attorney-General Luther Strange to win the republican primary for the state of Alabama. But Mr Strange lost. And so were Trump's supportive tweets when he deleted them.

The Presidential Records Act 1978 forbids any Presidential correspondence from being destroyed or deleted. The law also means that any tweets by the president are owned by The United States. There are a couple of avenues available if a President really wants to delete/destroy some kind of correspondence but it's A long and involved process hardly worth the bother.

My question is, do you think Trump should've deleted the tweets? I'll be honest and say that I think sometimes the media make mountains out of molehills where POTUS is concerned but I think he stepped over a line deleting those tweets. Of course there are screenshots of them all over the internet but that's not the point. They are missing from the record of the rest of his political tweets.


You're blaming the media? Okay... I guess that's your choice.

Here's the real problem, our current POTUS needs to practice something that we try to teach our children, "Think before you speak." In his case, it should be, "Think before you tweet."

**Content removed by moderator. Violates nature of The Spa.**

EDIT: Not sure what I said that was such a violation but whatever.
I finished writing The Great American Novel... I mean my paperwork for my evaluation. My SLG and PGP are done (I hope), my pretests are ready for Wednesday, and hopefully on Thursday the meeting will go quick so I can go to the school dance.
They ripped a book? WTF?!

I'll admit I've bought books from the Goodwill for my classroom, but that's because I'm paying for these books out of my own pocket and not because I'm worried the kids will trash them. Plus, if a kid borrows one and "loses" it (which has happened) I'm only out a few dollars. I do ask them to be gentle with these books as they must last many, many year.